It’s no secret if you follow me on BlueSky I’m into BDSM. I have been for several years. I’m very open, honest, and unapologetic about it. My interests of focus are electricity, impact, tickle torture, and staples. I love being tormented, teased, and put through agony.
This is a pro wrestling article, I swear.
It dawned on me recently, the morning after I got zapped repeatedly with a stun gun—yes, it hurt—that pro wrestling and BDSM have a significant thing in common, consensual risk. Whether taking your first training steps to be a pro wrestler, entering your first match, maybe taking your first chair shot, or any further risk you may be willing to accept in your career, pro wrestling is a risk. The risk of injury is always high, and usually, it’s over the most mundane of moves and efforts. We’ve seen people take hardcore bumps and come up relatively fine, only to proceed then to watch another wrestler land on their shoulder doing a dropkick and be out for months. BDSM has been no different; I have been through my own hells and been okay, relatively in the end, only to then trigger spasms in my back as I got off a spanking bench. Risk and injury can come at any time and can be the most mundane and unexpected moments.
It’s not just the risk that pro wrestling and BDSM have in common, it’s the importance of having a risk profile, and that’s what I want to discuss. I think every wrestler should have it, and if they don’t, they better start creating one. I highly recommend doing so. What are you willing to do? What are you not willing to do? What are you willing to consider (for maybe the right price?), what will you not do at any price, and will you be able to articulate that no to a promoter who pushes you to do it for them? Having a risk profile gives you the ability to make better decisions and better understand your abilities, limits, and boundaries.
Over the years, wrestlers have taken more significant and greater risks, bigger and bigger challenges, doing more dangerous stunts in exchange for what is hopefully a major pop and/or monetary reward.
I’m not trying to finger-wag this.
These are grown adults in an adult field making their own choices and decisions on what to put their bodies through. So be it if they are willing to do that for my entertainment. What I want wrestlers to consider, though, is whether they are doing it because they want to do it or if they are doing it because they feel like they must do it. Those are two completely different things. If it’s a want, carry on my wayward wrestler, get slammed on those thumbtacks, go through the glass, get set on fire. I’m not going to yuck your pro-wrestling yum. But if it’s because you feel the need to do it, if you feel you are being pressured to do it, maybe stop to think about your risk profile and if it’s worth it. Because as a pro wrestler you are most likely setting yourself up to be in pain the rest of your adult life, the question is how much pain are you willing to risk? How much pain is worth it? How much pain are you willing to endure for that endorphin high of the audience’s admiration? How much pain is enough pain, and how much pain is too much pain? Remember, just because you can take something, doesn’t mean you should.
I’m not trying to be preachy, I am only suggesting as things get more dangerous in the world of pro wrestling I want younger wrestlers to put more thought into WHAT THEY WON’T DO as compared to what they are willing to put themselves through. You’ll save yourself a lot of grief and harm if you do that. Get a baseline, and be ready to put your foot on the ground if pushed otherwise. At the end of the day, promotions don’t care about you. I know there are promotions out there that claim to be family and whatnot, but don’t believe that noise. They care about you as long as you can go, once you are damaged goods they’ll move on to the next shiny toy, or if you are getting big cheers, send out your corpse and use every last bit of life out of you until you are a shell of what you once were both in and out of the ring.
Once you figure out what you won’t do, then you can start figuring out what you are willing to do, and you can always re-evaluate as you gain experience and trust. Trust should be another important aspect of your risk profile. You may be willing to do certain spots with some wrestlers you won’t do with others. That’s how I am with my partners. I will let some partners do things to me I won’t let others do to me, because of the trust factor. Trust is essential and should not be taken for granted or freely given. Start establishing trust, and start building connections. Go with your gut feeling, if something feels off about your opponent’s mindset, attitude, behavior, or skillset and they suggest a risky spot be willing to put your foot down, even if they are the veteran. You may save yourself a lot of grief. I would rather be disappointed something didn’t go down and feel as if I protected myself than the alternative where something wasn’t right. I did it anyway, and now I’m filled with regret over my decision.
I think too many wrestlers, old and new, are willing to throw caution to the wind, willing to throw pro wrestling at a wall (and themselves) and see what sticks. It makes us cheer, cringe, and stay tuned in for sure, but ultimately, these people pay the price. In the lifestyle,e we call it frenzy, and I think it applies to pro wrestling as well. When you get that adrenaline rush from doing something dangerous, and now you want to do it again, and again, and again, and you don’t stop to give yourself room to breathe, think, and consider what it is you are actually doing. Beware of frenzy; it will cause you to make decisions without proper thought or reason, and it will get you in a situation where you will be harmed.
Now, there are wrestlers whose risk profiles will cover a lot of ground and allow for almost anything. If they are willing to pay that price, sure, go ahead, take every insane bump you desire to take, but take a second, one beat, one moment, and decide if the things you are putting yourself through you are doing because you want to, or because you feel you have to. Again, too different things, and the latter, as I have learned the hard way myself in BDSM, can cause you untold damage both mental and physical you’ll wish you avoided.
Risk profiles are essential not just in BDSM, or pro wrestling, but a lot of areas in life. It lets us know our boundaries and limits, and then comes the hard part, enforcing them. Boundaries are meaningless without enforcement. Never let promoters push you around, never let fans push you around, never let other wrestlers push you around, and always go by your gut and instinct. If something feels off, call off the damn spot and protect yourself because, ultimately, that is your first major responsibility. As my ex-dom used to say, “Protect the property (myself) at all times.” You are your biggest asset. If you get damaged or put on the shelf, that could be catastrophic. Protect yourself at all times, and only do the most dangerous things with partners you are willing to trust to protect you.
I don’t know if this article made any sense, it admittedly seemed a bit silly of an idea when I decided to write it, but ultimately I believe in it. Wrestlers think about what you won’t do, what you’ll negotiate, and what you are willing to do. Build camaraderie and trust with fellow wrestlers, especially those you are coming up the ranks with, and defend and stand firm on your boundaries and limits. I respect you are even stepping in the ring, I’ll respect you even more if you watch out for yourself. In BDSM I practice P.R.I.C.K. Personal Responsibility Informed Consensual Kink. What we do in kink is not safe, what you do in pro wrestling is not safe. The best we can do is be proactive in protecting ourselves as best we can, make informed decisions, and stand our ground when something makes us uncomfortable or uneasy. Never forget, always remember, you are your best advocate, sometimes you will be your only advocate. Never lose sight of that; create your risk profile, update it as needed, and always stand firm in the face of pressure.
You will thank yourself for it one day.
