Everyone loves Seinfeld, right?
I’m revisiting the hit 90s show. It’s an easy way to waste 22 minutes as the memorable cast of characters have conversations and situations that are mostly mundane yet comically hilarious. It’s 30 years old now, and the show still retains its charm, wit, and its originality. It’s easy to digest, highly entertaining, and has quality through and through. Kind of the opposite of WWE programming, am I right?
But this is a wrestling site, and I clicked on a Bray Wyatt article. Why are you explaining the comedy splendor of Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David to me?
Well, last night I was at a loose end as to what to watch. Too late for a movie, and not sleepy enough for bed, so I threw Seinfeld on the box and watched an episode or two, one of which was the tongue-in-cheek episode “The Pitch” from Season 3.
In this episode, Jerry, the titular character who happens to be a successful comedian, is enlisting the help of his hapless friend George to create a TV show in which to pitch to NBC. George comes up with the amazing idea to create a show about “nothing.”
Jerry, initially puzzled by George’s suggestion, queries with him about it.
“It’s a show about nothing, just nothing. It’s me and you and our friends, having conversations. That’s the show.”
It’s an insane story arc in which the writers poke fun at the premise of their own show. It’s clever, witty, and ultimately a lot of fun.
So where does the almighty Bray Wyatt come into this?
Now from watching Bray Wyatt since his dismal return up until recently, it struck me. Bray Wyatt is basically doing the same thing. He’s come back to WWE after being fired for being “difficult,” and he’s got himself a pretty cushy number.
He doesn’t wrestle, takes no bumps, adds very little actual entertainment to the show, and, quite frankly, does nothing. I can imagine the pitch now:
Bray: “Paul, you’ll love this. I have this new idea I wanna run by you.”
Triple H: “Go on, what’s the gimmick.”
Bray: “How can I describe this new character? Hmm, I can sum up my new gimmick in one word: Nothing!”
Triple H: “Nothing?”
Bray: “Yeah, nothing. The gimmick is nothing.”
Triple H: “So what’s involved?”
Bray: “Eh, just me and my pals having conversations.”
Triple H: “Conversations?”
Bray: “Yeah, just some chit chat. I just go out, talk about nothing in particular, my friends Alexa and Uncle Howdy drop by, nothing specific”.
Triple H: “ So you and your friends have conversations and wrestle?”
Bray: “Oh no, I don’t wrestle.”
Triple H: “You don’t wrestle?”
Bray: “I don’t wrestle.”
Triple H: “So what do you do?”
Bray: “I told you, nothing.”
Triple H: “I still don’t get it; what does that mean exactly?”
Bray: “It’s nothing. Nothing happens. It’s just me, and my friends talking about nothing. It goes nowhere, it’s just life. ”
Triple H: “Why would people watch it?”
Bray: “Because it’s on TV!”
Let’s be honest. Since Bray Wyatt returned to WWE at Extreme Rules, he has done nothing. No actual wrestling, nothing meaningful, nothing actually good. He comes out, has a chat with himself, bumps into his uncle and nothing really progresses.
Nothing entertains.
Nothing happens.
He’s a genius.
When he returned to much fanfare, without doing anything beyond walking slowly, it was touted that he would be reinvigorated without the Vince McMahon-shaped barrier impeding his creativity. Many stated that we hadn’t seen the best of Bray Wyatt yet and that he could show everyone how good he can be without Vince holding him back.
With Triple H now in charge, Bray Wyatt has managed to pitch the idea of himself doing nothing and somehow go it greenlit by Papa H. WWE is paying him to do nothing. Say what you want about Vince; he is at fault for a hell of a lot in modern WWE, but maybe clipping the wings of Bray Wyatt was a wise choice.
Bray is doing nothing. His promos are more rambling, the segments he participates in go nowhere fast, and he has wrestled zero times on television. He’s literally doing sweet FA.
It’s hard to watch this episode of Seinfeld and not see the parallels. If he has ripped this idea from season 4 of Seinfeld, I can’t help but salute him. He not only collects his own money for doing more or less zero work but also gets to have his friends and family in on the act, too, with Alexa and Uncle Howdy perhaps takes on Elaine and George respectfully. He still is missing a Kramer but has LA Knight cast as the unfortunate Newman.
Bray has an upcoming “MTN DEW Pitch Black match” coming up with Mister Knight, and I can only pray it’s just him and Knight not wrestling with the lights off.
Bray: “Just switch the lights off, we make a couple of sounds and slap a sponsor on it, easy money. “
Maybe he could steal another idea from the hit show when Vince fires him in the near future. You know, the one where George gets quits and he turns up for work anyway? he can easily get away with turning up to WWE after being fired as if nothing happened once Vince is fully in control.
But for now, Bray Wyatt is coning the WWE and the fans who expect this to go somewhere worthwhile, and I am all for it.
