It’s the most wonderful time of the year…

Yes, it’s Voices of Wrestling Secret Santa time again, everyone. The brainchild of JR Goldberg (@wrestlingbubble), VOW Secret Santa sees all participating website contributors give their fellow contributors, the greatest gift of all: wrestling matches!

VOW Secret Santa Archives:

The Steiner Brothers vs. Money Inc.
August 16, 1993

Reviewed by Paul Völsch (@Darth_Dragon)

Gifted by Fred Morlan (@FlagrantRasslin)

You know they say that all matches are created equal, but you look at the Steiner Brothers vs. Money Inc cage match and you look at the rest of the Secret Santa matches and you can see that statement is not true. See, normally if you watch a tag match, you got a 50/50 chance of the match being good. But at this point, Ted DiBiase was broken and IRS is just boring! So you got a 25%, AT BEST, at the match being good. Then you add WWE being bad a cage matches to the mix, your chances of a good match drastic go down. See during the tag team cage match at SummerSlam Spectacular, you spend 33 1/3% of the match watching meandering action in the ring, but you spend 66 and 2/3% of the match watching people hanging off the cage trying to escape, because Ted DiBiase KNOWS he’s leaving WWF after this match and he’s not even gonna try!

So dear reader, you take your eyes being 33 1/3% closed, minus the 25% effort put in by Money Inc. and you got an 8 1/3 chance of the match being entertaining. But then you take Scott Steiner’s 75% chance of being the best guy in the match and then add Rick Steiner’s 66 2/3 per cents chance of being crazy over, you got a 141 2/3 chance of the right team winning at SummerSlam Spectacular.

See Money Inc., the numbers don’t lie, and they spell disaster for you at SummerSlam Spectacular.