It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single wrestling  fan in possession of a PayPal account, must be in want of a thirst trap.” -A complete and accurate quote from Jane Austen 3:16 that wasn’t made up. 

…….Yep, we’re doing this. Blame it on writer’s block, blame it on Rich not stopping me. Blame it on the Al-Al-Al-Alcohol baby, or in the end just blame it on my hormones (and they are in a rage, they want Gender Dysphoria and they want it in a cage.)

We’re going to talk about thirsting in pro wrestling and how it is legit and overall pretty alright within certain reason and boundaries. You can thirst if you want to, you can leave your friends behind. Because if your friends don’t thirst then they are the worst, and they are no friends of mine. We will also touch on you can thirst, but know your boundaries and do not go overboard in a way that becomes problematic. 

In fact, the thirst is real and often pandered to, catered to, book towards. Believe me, I’m not making that up. Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? Until you take a look around and realize how attractiveness has more often than not been used to gain gazes and glances from new fans and old fans alike. The right look, the right body, the right appearance, the right twinkle in their eye, can make someone turn around and go “Hello There” in an Obi-Wan Kenobi fashion and catch their interest. Pro wrestling’s history of pretty boy tag teams taking advantage of this sticks out the absolute most. The appearance, the youthfulness, the athleticism, and playing it up to the women contingent, pretty boy tag teams are perhaps the greatest example of thirst being used to attract audiences, and they totally worked. 

The actual accurate and official definition of thirst is described as “a feeling of needing or wanting to drink something.” While the thirst we’re talking about deals more with overly, openly, and a bit too excitedly attracted to someone, it still works. Cause if you’re like me and you see someone you are totally into, you drink that shit up. Think about all the times an attractive wrestler has taken off their shirt and you heard the squeals/approval from the crowd. That’s thirst my friends, and there’s no point in not admitting otherwise. The thirst is there and to ignore it is to ignore a part of ourselves that’s very real, very true, and very very very needs a drink of someone who is hella fine.

Of course, not everyone gets by from being a total ideal babe or a complete ideal hunk in pro wrestling. Nor should they feel like they have to. That’s not cool, fair, or inclusive. Wrestling is full of shapes, sizes, body types, physiques, etc. and they are all wonderful and fantastic and should be accepted and loved. Period, end of discussion. Everyone is beautiful and everyone’s definition of what is beautiful differs is valid and does not need anyone else’s approval.

In the end, though, we all got our tastes and particulars We all got our preferences, and when those preferences are catered to let face it, we lock in, tune in, and… um….. yeah….. We step into that trap full speed ahead. We set a course for it.

Admittedly, I don’t avoid thirst traps, what’s the fun in that? I dive right in. Headfirst if possible. They aren’t so much traps rather than they are invitations. I’m bi-sexual so I get a whole world of thirst open to me. Wardlow wearing a suit? Count me in. Veny wearing their ring gear? Count me in! Maki Itoh existing? Count me in. Hell, it’s not pro wrestling but let’s throw in Michael B. Jordan because he’s Michael B. Jordan and …. He deserves to be mentioned for that fact alone. 

“Swoons.”

 Um, okay back on to the subject at hand. 

I must confess to my readers, Jay White revealing his abs at 5:30 A.M Eastern Time? I’m far more awake from that than the several cups of coffee I’ve consumed. Finn Balor revealing his abs at any time of day? My eyes are wide open and my attention is yours, sir. Asuka taking her ring entrance mask off and giving us that glance she does so fantastically? FUCK! Sonny Kiss being wonderful and a damn delight? I could go on and on here. I’m unapologetically thirsty, and I’m drinking it all up, and I’m not the only individual. If there’s going to be thirst, one goes in search of the sources to quench it, and individual wrestlers are starting to willingly provide that source.

Wrestlers with OnlyFans, wrestlers with Patreons giving us bonus content to our heart (and um… other areas) desires to showcase that the thirst is real, the thirst is hard, and the thirst does indeed pay some bills.

There is no shame in any of this.

There is no shame in being the one who thirsts, and there’s no shame in adding fuel to that thirst to your advantage. Supply and demand. We demand the thirst content, and in the name of Peitho, we are being given it. Controlled, accessible spaces for a price, which is more than fair, we can get the content we want to be handled, controlled, and doled out by the people who know they are being thirsted over. It’s a worthwhile business agreement in which one side makes a little money, and the other gets the content they constantly crave. A win-win. 

Wrestling bookers/promoters are a certain type of breed, and once they learn what buttons to push and what gears to turn to make their machine work, they are going to press the buttons and spin those gears until everything is worn out. A lot of wrestlers are sexy AF, and it’s totally okay to put that out there and for us to enjoy. Hell, it’s a lot of fun, so don’t be ashamed of exploring what you are into, and enjoying it to a reasonably high level when you do. but know your limitations and know your boundaries. 

Of course, ultimately you need to be a bit restrained. You need to know some behaviors when it comes to expressing your attraction are harmful, toxic, and can approach abusive levels. Thirst is acceptable, going full speed and throwing it into everyone’s face 24/7 is not. Nor do you need to go into mentions, or into DMs (everyone wants to slide, but the most trip, stumble and fall face-first into DMs) or anything of that nature. Have fun, enjoy, consider it a treat. Along with the great wrestling, stories, personalities, and hopefully full entertaining shows, just lean back and be excited that you also get a little something-something for your eyes to dander at. But remember they are human freaking beings, and in the end should be recognized and treated as such no matter how much you drink up.

There are those who definitely take it too far, they are what brings the criticism, negativity, toxicity, and ruins the party for everyone. Do not be that fan. Do not be that fan who lets their seemingly harmless thirst into something that is far more severe. Appreciate but don’t mistake YOUR appreciation for access and permission. Don’t creep, and do not stalk. You want to find a wrestler attractive and announce it to all then do so, but do so within the boundaries (as strict as they want them to be) and rules that are both spoken and unspoken. Shit can turn toxic faster than the length of a Brock Lesnar defense against Ricochet. Do not be that fan. Do not invade personal space, do not go seeking out personal details. Admire yes, subscribe to content acceptable, enjoy and be entertained, but be respectful as all hell. Do not go seeking content and information that is not for your eyes and ears. Don’t ruin shit for everyone else, nor make things awful for those who perform on your television, computer, or live in front of your eyes. They are human beings after all deserving of respect, privacy, and not being bothered by some stranger on the internet who feels entitled to more than they deserve. You are allowed to find them attractive, but you are not allowed to go further than that without expressed consent. That is something that shouldn’t be stated, but unfortunately, it often must be.

The thirst is real, and there is no shame in it. I joke about it, play off of it, tease it, and in the end, I’m guilty as hell about all of it. I thirst, I can’t even hide it. I get called out on it all the time. I told a friend recently that I enjoyed something and his response was “Alright, who took off their shirt?” and my face blushed immediately. It is what it is, go ahead and thirst, but be reasonable and be responsible. There are lines you don’t cross, you don’t even go near it. Watch your shows, pay for your content, write your epic fanfic, but when you aren’t given access or whatever else you may get flagged for, back the hell off and stand down. The thirst is real, but so should be the respect of personal boundaries.

Well, this little article was fun to write. Now if you excuse me I got to go watch this Dragongate show I’ve been meaning to watch today. Purely for artistic and research reasons and nothing else. Nyuh-uh, nope, my intentions are pure, and my conscious clean.

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If you bought that after the thousand plus words I just posted, I don’t know what to do with you.