Allie Kat’s Real Hot Girl Shit
Friday, April 9
The Cuban Club
Ybor City, Florida
- WrestleMania Weekend Schedule: voicesofwrestling.com/wrestlemania-weekend-2021-full-schedule-map
- WrestleMania Weekend Coverage: voicesofwrestling.com/category/wrestlemania-weekend-2021
NOTE: Due to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, wrestlers may be removed from shows due to positive COVID-19 tests or exposure, so cards may be different than what is previewed below.
A show called “Real Hot Girl Shit” deserves the Magic Writing Girl gracing you all with Some Real Hot Girl Takes. I don’t know if I have them though. I mean I’m a real girl, I guess I’m hot, but my takes, ehhhhh?
Look, there’s a lot of ways you can preview this show. There is a snarky and cynical lens one can apply to this show regardless of being a guy, gay, non-binary pal when looking upon it. It’s not alone fitting in this category. To a lot of people WrestleMania has become a bloated gimmick-themed show mess. A smoldering landscape of non-consequential matches and too many events desperately clawing for your dollars, trying to milk every last cent out of you by throwing whatever they can in your face and hoping it’s refreshing. It is easy, very easy, to slip into this mindset and poke fun, make jokes, and take potshots at Real Hot Girl Shit. With all that said and stated, and I must confess it has entered my mind, it is one of the few all-woman (well mostly) events of the weekend. That means something to me. That’s a big significance to me. It’s not my ideal card, it’s not the best all women’s show I feel could be presented, but it is here and has presented itself. believe in the saying of women supporting women (not blindly mind you). I can’t espouse that belief and then come on here writing one thousand plus words just taking the massive utter piss out of this show. That would be the opposite of real hot girl shit. That is legit lukewarm girl travesty.
So instead, I’m going to look at Allie Kat’s Real Hot Girl Shit and try to sell the fucking shit out of it. Lord knows, a lot of these WrestleMania shows this weekend don’t know how to do that. Hell, I don’t know how to do that, but I’m going to try. So in the words of Slick Rick HEEREEEEEE WE GO.
Allie Kat’s Real Hot Girl Shit is coming your way and no joke, I think it can be a lot more fun than given credit for. Look, I’ll level with you, it’s not going to be the best wrestling show of the weekend. I’m not even going to try to front or pretend on that end. Potentially, it has a chance to be a lot of fun, and you’ll get to see a lot of women (mostly women) trying to showcase themselves and entertain you. Trying to spotlight themselves, stand up, stand out, and deliver. Fuck, that’s worth something to me. That’s needed to me. That’s REAL HOT GIRL SHIT!
In my own personal definition of doing REAL HOT GIRL SHIT, all you need to be is a girl doing something. Are you a girl who’s doing something, congrats it’s REAL HOT GIRL SHIT. You rule. Me trying to sell this damn show to you? That’s REAL HOT GIRL SHIT, and you better recognize it as such. I better be really fucking attractive to you right now because of this. You better be sliding up in my DMs demanding my Amazon Wishlist so you can buy me something. No matter how bad my salesperson ship is you better be slightly blushing at how cute I am in my effort to say buy this damn show.
Tasha Steelz versus Trish Adora? Hell yes, I’m here for that. That’s going to be the good stuff. Lady Frost versus Edith Surreal? Hell yes, that match is going to rule. Also, kudos to this show for putting Edith Surreal and Dark Sheik on the show. Representation rules. Thank you so much for not ignoring them, they are real women, they are hot, and they are about to do REAL HOT GIRL SHIT!
There’s a grey sweatpant battle royal being done to support Planned Parenthood, which automatically makes it my favorite thing on the show. Yes it’s ridiculous, yes it’s probably not going to be great wrestling, yes you’ll have to stare at Ricky Shane Page in grey sweatpants (FUCK OHIO) butttt….. It’s being done for Planned Parenthood and being run by Faye Jackson so I’m going to give it Magic Writing Girl’s seal of approval. Faye Jackson is leaving wrestling, but she’s leaving it donating to an organization that has helped me and I truly believe in. REAL HOT GIRL SHIT!
Then you got Allie Kat versus Billie Starkz. Billie Starkz—I’m going to level with you, I haven’t been on the hype train. I don’t understand the appeal, the praise, the accolades at such a young age. She no doubt works her but off, she no doubt tries, she no doubt wants to improve and be better at her craft. Time will tell if any or all of that happens. This will not be the best match of the weekend, but it could be fun. Allie Kat is using her show to give a young wrestler with a lot of hype a spotlight to show herself to a potentially bigger audience. Despite my conflicting feelings on Starkz, that has to be spotlighted. Allie Kat is achieving some REAL HOT GIRL SHIT!
Am I overhyping? Yes? Am I trying too hard? Yes? Am I pandering by typing REAL HOT GIRL SHIT in all caps as much as I can? Yes? Will that aggravate my editor? Also yes, and it’s REAL HOT GIRL SHIT to do so. Because anything I do is exactly that. There is no disputing, arguing, or counter-pointing this.
I literally don’t know how well this show is going to do this weekend. It could be a disaster, which would be sad. I don’t want any show to fail. I don’t look at this weekend lineup, which I have admittedly conflicting views on, and point at shows going I HOPE YOUR BUYS ARE DISMAL! This show is no exception. It might not be my cup of tea, it might not even be tea. But I hope it does well, if I somehow wrote one of you into buying a ticket I’ll smile and be happy. Women supporting women, and that’s what I’m doing here. Yes, I’m being a little tongue and cheek and maybe going too much into over-the-top mode, but my feelings are real. I wish these women the absolute best. Very few people have high hopes for this show, but I hope they prove everyone wrong. They may do so, they may not. This show could end up being a trainwreck for all we know. But it’s a (mostly) all-women’s show and I am glad it exists. You’ll get a collection of matches that will do their very best to entertain you. I won’t repeat it in all caps again, you are tired of that at this point. Alle Kat’s show will not be the best show of the weekend, but I promise you it has the potential to be fun, and it will be entertaining. This preview is done, this preview is over, this preview was some REAL HOT GIRL SHIT.