WWE Hell In A Cell 2020
October 25, 2020
Watch: WWE Network
Meet our reviewers
Sean Sedor: So the NASCAR Cup Series race in Texas is under a weather delay. I think at some point, if the race gets going again, I’m going to be trying to watch that and this PPV at once, which should be fun. You can follow Sean on Twitter @SASedor2994.
Kelly Harrass: Here I am twenty minutes before show time watching ChocoPro from last night and soon I’ll be watching Hell in a Cell; the show that broke me the previous year. I guess we’re destined to do this forever. I swear to god if I see a giant cartoon hammer, I’m turning off the show. Follow me on Twitter @comicgeekelly.
WWE Universal Title – I Quit Hell In A Cell Match
Roman Reigns (c) def. Jey Uso
Sean: I was honestly a little surprised that this was the opener. I’m also still a little confused as to what the whole family stipulation means specifically. Are The Usos excommunicated if Jey loses period, or does that only happen if Jey loses and The Usos still refuse to accept Reigns as the “Tribal Chief”? Then you have Paul Heyman saying that Jey (should he lose) will basically become an indentured servant to Reigns. Anyway, I actually enjoyed the first….two-thirds of this match. You know…..when it was an actual wrestling match. Then we got into the melodramatic bullshit (copyright Joe Lanza), where Roman was doing a monologue while Jey Uso played dead after taking a weak-ass kick to the head with the ring steps in front of him. WWE officials ran in and tried to stop it, and even Jimmy Uso tried to get Reigns to stop. It eventually took Reigns locking Jimmy in the guillotine choke for Jey to say I Quit. On the positive side, I’d say the first two-thirds was actually pretty solid, and they weren’t shoving a microphone into a guy’s face after every move, but the melodramatic nonsense ruined it. Plus, this had absolutely no reason to be inside Hell In A Cell. They barely used the cage. It was basically a low-level WWE hardcore match. As a whole, I would definitely classify this as a good match, but the stuff in the back third took it down a few notches, at least for me. I will add a quarter star to this for the surprise Wild Samoans appearance after the match, as they anointed Reigns. ***1/2
Kelly: This match is pretty much the only reason why I’m doing the review. Putting this in the opener slot should have been a tip-off that this wasn’t going to be your typical match, but I wasn’t thinking about that as it started. This was a very story and dialogue-heavy match that would have died a horrible death in front of a live crowd. The in-ring was pretty strong up until a point and from there, things were carried by the dialogue. I thought Roman and both of the Uso’s did well in their roles and brought enough believability to their performances that I was able to buy into it. Ultimately, I can’t knock anyone that didn’t like this. The second half was barely a match, but I would say that I mostly enjoyed this. Most of the tropes I hate from I Quit matches weren’t here, which definitely helped things. The lack of the use of the cell was disappointing though. This didn’t need to be in that big red monster, but I suppose it’s October so you have to put some matches in there. It’s the law, you know. Overall, this was a match I really enjoyed, but I can’t possibly recommend it with a runtime that long. Edit this down to a tight 25 and we’ll talk. ***½
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Elias def. Jeff Hardy via DQ
Sean: So for some reason, Elias still thinks that Jeff Hardy was the one who ran him over in the parking lot on SmackDown many months ago, despite the fact that Sheamus was (from what I recall) clearly identified as the culprit during the Jeff Hardy/Sheamus feud. I really shouldn’t worry about it, since WWE storytelling is fucking garbage nine times out of ten. This is also the second time this year that WWE has used Jeff Hardy’s substance abuse issues as part of one of their storylines, which is pretty gross. This was basically a RAW match on a PPV, all the way down to the finish, which saw Jeff smash a guitar over the back of Elias (I’m sure Jeff Jarrett, who was on the Kickoff, was thrilled to see that) for the DQ. A waste of time. **
Kelly: WWE’s use of Jeff Hardy’s past with drugs and alcohol is absolutely disgusting.
The Miz def. Otis
Sean: This match is for the Money In The Bank briefcase, as per (and I can’t believe I’m saying this) the ruling by Judge JBL on SmackDown during the….Law & Otis segments. Can we just talk about for a second how WWE has completely ignored the results of the draft after only a week or so? This must be a new record, right? You had several RAW wrestlers appear on that SmackDown segment, and this match itself is brand vs. brand. I just think it’s hilarious that main roster WWE continues to get more absurd by the week (I also do not blame Kelly one iota for skipping this match). Anyway, this was also a RAW match. John Morrison got ejected after trying to use the briefcase, and this led to Tucker turning heel on Otis by hitting him with the briefcase while the referee wasn’t looking. Miz got the win, and thus, is now the Money In The Bank holder. Don’t you just love how they had Otis win Money In The Bank when they clearly had no plans to have him actually cash it in? Don’t you just love how WWE broke up yet another tag team in a turn that absolutely nobody gives a shit about? You can count down the days until Tucker gets his WWE release by the way, because now that he’s on his own on RAW, he’s on the train to nowheresville. WWE everybody! **
Kelly: I’m not watching this.
WWE SmackDown Women’s Title – Hell In A Cell Match
Sasha Banks def. Bayley (c)
Sean: At this point, the NASCAR Cup Series race at Texas Motor Speedway is still under a weather delay. Bayley was super concerned when Sasha threw the chair she carries around with her outside the cage before it lowered…..but why would she be concerned when there’s probably twenty other chairs just like that one under the ring? This show was in desperate need of a great match, and when the dust settled, these two absolutely delivered. A great match from start to finish which saw strong action throughout. Much like the Becky Lynch/Sasha Banks Hell In A Cell last year, we got a number of creative spots involving a variety of weapons (tables, kendo stick bridges, chairs, a ladder, and so on). This was also a pretty brutal bout, particularly for Sasha, who took a couple of nasty bumps. The highlight of those nasty bumps was probably a sunset flip into a chair that was set up in the corner. Eventually, Sasha Banks forced Bayley to tap out with a chair-assisted Banks Statement to win the SmackDown Women’s Title for (believe it or not) the first time. An awesome match, plain and simple. In terms of 2020 main roster WWE, which has to be one of the worst years in company history, you’ll be hard-pressed to find a match better than this. ****1/2
Kelly: Oh hey, it’s the other match I care about, time to stop playing Luigi’s Mansion 3. Before the match started I was struck that just like the Roman/Jey match, the heel wore black and the face wore white. I’d be curious to know if that was any sort of directive or if it was a coincidence. I’d also be interested to know if Sasha’s gear was inspired by the white gear that Saori Anou has been wearing as of late. It wouldn’t shock me at all if Sasha is current on her Oz Academy and Ice Ribbon. Enough talking about gear because this match rocked. Sasha and Bayley had an absolutely brutal battle here. They beat the hell out of each other and took some crazy bumps. Sasha in particular took a nasty looking sunset bomb into a chair in the corner that looked like it killed her. Barring a weird bit where Bayley was taping two kendo sticks together, the use of weapons was inventive and effective. This didn’t feel like your typical WWE plunder match, the weapon spots actually mattered to and were integral in the finish of the match. Hats off to Bayley and Sasha for putting together what will probably end up being my favorite WWE match this year. Well worked and appropriately brutal, this match is must-see. ****½
WWE United States Title
Bobby Lashley (c) def. Slapjack
Sean: Imagine telling someone a year ago that Bobby Lashley would be wrestling Shane Thorne on a WWE PPV. Mustafa Ali issued an open challenge earlier in the night for a singles match between a member of Retribution and a member of the Hurt Business. The latter picked Lashley to be their representative, picked Slapjack as the opponent, and MVP decided that Lashley would put his United States Title on the line. This was pretty much an extended squash, as Slapjack got a few moves in before getting put down with the Hurt Lock. Within seconds of the match ending, Retribution attacked Lashley, but then immediately backed off in fear as the rest of the Hurt Business ran out to make the save. This wasn’t more of a RAW segment than a RAW match. Just a complete waste of time as Retribution continue to come off like incompetent fools. N/R
Kelly: This is my first time actually seeing Retribution and I’ve got to say, TruckNUTZ looked really bad here. This was certainly a waste of time. *
Hell In A Cell Match – Randy Orton def. Drew McIntyre (c)
Sean: So the light rain/mist ended up being too much for the NASCAR Cup Series race at Texas Motor Speedway, with the race now postponed to….*checks notes*…..10:00 AM tomorrow morning (9:00 AM Central in Texas). A little surprised that they main evented this show with the Hell In A Cell match that had the least amount of interest going in, but whatever, who really cares. Orton was disguised as a member of the tech crew, and attacked McIntyre during his entrance. They had a brief brawl outside the cage before getting back inside the cage to start the match. It was definitely weird seeing Orton wrestle the first few minutes of this in pants (which is probably the weirdest line in this entire review).
Once the match actually got started, McIntyre had the edge for a bit, before Orton gained control. Orton then went after McIntyre’s jaw (this was when I started to lose interest), before things got more even when McIntyre made his comeback. The stuff inside the cell was fine, but relatively generic. Orton then decided to get the giant hedge clippers, cut the lock off the door, and challenge McIntyre to go to the top of the cage. McIntyre obliged, and the two started to brawl on the roof of the cage for a short period, before VERY slowly descending down the side of the cage. That led to a spot where McIntyre fell from the halfway point of the cell wall through the announcer’s table. They eventually got back in the cage, and after surviving a Claymore Kick, Orton hit the RKO to win his 14th (yes, you read that right) World Title in WWE. From a technical standpoint, there was nothing wrong with the actual match, but as a viewer, it was thoroughly uninteresting. There was no reason to get invested in this, and it was honestly hard for me to pay attention. They got me into it a bit when they went up to the roof, but then it led to the same “falling off the side of the cage” spot that we’ve seen a dozen times in these Hell In A Cell matches. A flat ending to the show for sure. **3/4
Kelly: When you want to be done with a show, there’s nothing worse than staring down the barrel of a Randy Orton match. Plodding? You got it. Slow? Aw yeah buddy. Work a hold? Brother, Randy’s gonna go after Drew’s jaw. Whispering intensely and oddly sexually into each other’s ears? Oh hell yeah! Wait, what? Yeah, man, I don’t know either, but I’m into it. That was probably the most interesting the match got because I was getting real sleepy otherwise. Hey, you know what’s not interesting? Watching people climb up the cell. Watching people fight on top of the cell isn’t really interesting either. Drew took a bump off the middle height of the cell through a table and that was pretty cool, but definitely not worth the amount of time that went into setting up that spot. And what’s even better than that is getting to watch Randy slowly walk behind Drew as Drew slowly crawls his way back to the ring. I feel like I’ve been watching this match for two hours. GO HOME! Goddammit why did I let Sean convince me to review this show?! I just want to watch Godzilla vs. Mothra and here’s Randy rolling out of the ring when he gets hit by Drew’s finisher. Randy finally hits the RKO and it’s over. Goodnight everyone. This match sucked. ½*