WWE THE GREATEST ROYAL RUMBLE
APRIL 27, 2018
KING ABDULLAH INTERNATIONAL STADIUM
JEDDAH, SAUDI ARABIA

Watch: WWE Network

Welcome to WWE GREATEST ROYAL RUMBLE where the storylines are made up and company values don’t matter (no matter what they say). You are here with your host with the most, Griffin Peltier (@biggrifftwelve), as we try and look at this absolutely insane lineup for WWE THE GREATEST ROYAL RUMBLE brought to you, probably, by some insane amount of oil money.

Did you know that WrestleMania was only three weeks ago and Backlash is next Sunday? Yeah, the schedule is insane. Oh, and the Raw crew just returned from Africa  only to fly across the ocean again.

Welcome to WWE GREATEST ROYAL RUMBLE – let’s preview and predict, shall we?

THE GREATEST ROYAL RUMBLE KICKOFF SHOW

Yes, we have a Kickoff show for THE GREATEST ROYAL RUMBLE for an entire hour before the scheduled FIVE HOUR event. They have yet to announce any matches for this show but I’m going to guess that Nia Jax and Carmella both defend their Women’s Championships here… oh wait. Nevermind. Maybe Darren Young and Titus O’Neil will challenge for the NXT Tag Titles on the Kickoff? … oh wait, nevermind. Uhh… this is awkward. OIL MONEY!

THE GREATEST ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH

This is the biggest Royal Rumble match in WWE history. So big, in fact, that you could call it THE GREATEST ROYAL RUMBLE match in WWE history.

FIFTY (yes you read that correctly) WWE Superstars will try their hand at winning this monumental match. The winner is guaranteed… uhh… a Snickers bar or something. Big names like Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle, Daniel Bryan, and Sin Cara have all been announced for the GREATEST match in WWE history.  I think we see a first-time winner of Rumble here, because they need to be historical in JEDDAH, SAUDI ARABIA for the GREATEST ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH. Prediction: Primo Colon

SETH ROLLINS © VS. FINN BALOR VS. SAMOA JOE VS. THE MIZ – LADDER MATCH FOR THE WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP

Remember how awesome Finn’s entrance was at WrestleMania and how progressive it was compared to the Federation’s past antics? Yeah, do not expect that here in JEDDAH, SAUDI ARABIA at the WWE GREATEST ROYAL RUMBLE!

All four guys here are super talented and will probably kill themselves in the ring for our entertainment. With Joe and The Miz now on Smackdown, and with Balor’s all-inclusive Club clashing with certain views in the venue, I don’t see them being victorious here. Rollins retains after Balor takes out Joe and/or Miz with a Diving Foot Stomp from the ladder. Oh, and I think we see “The Demon “King”” because history needs to be made at THE GREATEST ROYAL RUMBLE IN JEDDAH, SAUDI ARABIA! Prediction: Seth Rollins

JOHN CENA VS. TRIPLE H

The highly-anticipated WRESTLEMANIA 22 rematch comes to us live from Saudi Arabia.

This is one of those matches that we will look back on and on paper sounds like a really awesome feud, but then we’ll discover that this was a nothing match between two of the biggest stars in the history of the sport of professional wrestling. Cena is hot off being squashed by The Undertaker but is building his way back up to squash some legal papers. Triple H is probably wishing he was elsewhere in a NXT ring instead of THE GREATEST ROYAL RUMBLE. I honestly don’t know who is going to pick up the win here, I’m just hoping for a good match. Prediction: Nicholas, the former RAW Tag Team Champion

THE UNDERTAKER VS. RUSEV IN THE GREATEST CASKET MATCH

Ah yes, this fantastic match that began as Undertaker vs. Rusev and was then switched to Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho. It has switched back to Undertaker vs. Rusev.

Get ready for a proper burial, brothers, as Rusev will probably be locked into the casket and buried deep into the sands of SAUDI ARABIA. Poor Rusev. Prediction: The Undertaker, playa

BRAY WYATT AND MATT HARDY VS. CESARO AND SHEAMUS FOR THE RAW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS

Ah yes, the ship of partners betwixt “The One Who Dines on Worlds” Bray Wyatt and “#Woken” Matt Hardy has been WONDERFUL~! Their opponents beist “The Stenosis of Spinal” Sheamus and “The BDK affiliated” Cesaro. We need new Tag Team Champions of the Raw World after the Man of Strow and the Las of Nicho vacated the straps of the colour red because of the class of school. Hopefully, Vanguard 1 doesn’t get shot down here at WWE THE GREATEST ROYAL RUMBLE. Prediction: Bray Wyatt & Matt Hardy

THE BLUDGEON BROTHERS © VS. THE USOS FOR THE SMACKDOWN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS

The Bludgeon Brothers have been well protected against the Smackdown roster and The Usos have been one of the best tag teams in the world for the past two years. The Usos are the cornerstone of the Smackdown Tag division and I am hoping for a feud between them and Cesaro & Sheamus. I think a few titles need to change at THE GREATEST ROYAL RUMBLE, and I think we get one here. Prediction: The Usos

JEFF HARDY © VS. JINDER MAHAL FOR THE UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP

In a battle for brand supremacy, Raw’s newest get Jinder Mahal gets an opportunity to reclaim the US Championship from Smackdown’s newest get Jeff Hardy. The winner faces Randy Orton at Backlash (I think, who knows with how these cards are thrown together). Jeff Hardy will probably come out the victor in this one, that is unless Vinny Mac doesn’t realize that India and Saudi Arabia are two different countries and wants to send the hometown crowd happy. Prediction: Jeff Hardy

AJ STYLES © VS. SHINSUKE NAKAMURA FOR THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP

Now that we have “Ballbuster” Shinsuke Nakamura, I am much more excited for this match than their WrestleMania match just three weeks ago. I hope this heel turn brings out some much needed aggression and willingness to wrestle from Shinsuke. If these two are motivated, this should be one hell of a match and what their WrestleMania encounter should have been. This is my pick to be the GREATEST match on the show. Prediction: Shinsuke Nakamura

BROCK LESNAR © VS. ROMAN REIGNS IN A STEEL CAGE MATCH FOR THE UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP

At WrestleMania 34, these two went down to New Orleans in the main event and got absolutely destroyed by the fans. They had an alright match that was just finisher spam and a bit of blood. Brock Lesnar surprisingly won the match and stalled yet another Roman Reigns coronation. Knowing that they will get the fan reaction that they desire, the rematch was booked inside a Cage for THE GREATEST ROYAL RUMBLE. There is no reason, in kayfabe, why Roman Reigns should get another shot at Lesnar and the championship after getting his ass handed to him at Mania. The Roman Reigns experiment has had its fair share of bumps in the road and I don’t see this going well – especially because I don’t think Brock is taking the pin, so Roman is winning on pure luck of being the first to escape the cage. I hope the WWE gives us a cool swerve or something to freshen up Reigns’ character. Maybe have Heyman slam the cage door on Brock’s face or something? Otherwise, this will be seen as just another paragraph for the Wikipedia page for Roman Reigns’ persona and reception. Prediction: Roman Reigns