Impact Wrestling on Pop TV
Thursday, March 9
Universal Studios
Orlando, FL

Photos (c) jeanmariebiele.com

The show opened with a video package cataloguing TNA history, including many clips of the likes of AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe. The messaging was pretty clear – Impact was great back then, and it’s going to be like that again. A big problem with the last few years was messaging. The brand message was basically “We’re still here!” while Dixie stumbled from crisis to crisis. The product was good but there was no real cohesive company wide narrative. Which while you may disagree with the execution (and the lame Trump knockoff slogan irks me most), I do think they do seem to be trying to actually position the company as something. Problem is it spent more time showcasing the likes of Styles and Joe rather than Lashley, EC3, Eddie Edwards, Davey Richards, Rosemary etc. on the back of whom Impact will be made great again.

After a little brawl between Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards, Jeremy Borash made his way to the ring to take his place as the third man at the Impact announce booth. JB buried Josh for being fired, Josh said he’s better than TNA because he called WrestleMania. This began something of an insufferable theme throughout the show with Mathews and JB constantly bickering – because nothing says REBOOT like feuding announcers. Cody showed up too for some reason.

Reno Scum (Luster the Legend and Adam Thornstowe) def. The DCC (Bram and Kingston)

I couldn’t tell you what happened here. I was too distracted by Borash and Mathews shouting at each other. They didn’t care about Reno Scum, why should I?

Braxton Sutter (w/Allie) def. DJZ, Caleb Konley, and Marshe Rockett

The new regime’s idea of reinvigorating the X-Division is to slap them in meaningless multi-man matches. How did nobody think of that before? Such a novel approach. Usual fun X-Division match. Sutter won after a swinging neckbreaker. ***

Sienna def. Rachael Ellering

Rachael Ellering is the daughter of Paul Ellering of Road Warriors/current NXT fame, she was trained by Lance Storm.

I’m done. This show is unwatchable.

Final Thoughts:

Despair.