Prior to last week’s episode of Impact Wrestling, there had been five major TNA weddings (on camera at least, off camera at least half the roster has paired up at this stage).
The Angles Renew Their Wedding Vows (February 2008)
On the February 14th, 2008 Impact Kurt and (then) Karen Angle sought to renew their wedding vows. In the end a groggy minister pronounced AJ Styles and Karen man and wife after a kerfuffle – because I’m pretty sure that’s how weddings work. It’s legally binding then. It did result in this delightfully charming Karen/AJ honeymoon. I wonder does Karen still have that snowglobe? Gator nuggets!
Jay Lethal and SoCal Val – Ooooo YEAH! (Slammiversary 2008)
At Slammiversary 2008 (yes a wedding on PPV), Jay Lethal and SoCal Val sought to take their Macho Man/Elizabeth cosplay to the next level through holy matrimony. Featuring appearances by Koko B. Ware, the late George “The Animal” Steel, Kamala, Jake Roberts, and American Idol finalist Ace Young – it was quite the wedding party. Sonjay Dutt unfortunately objected and stole Val for himself, resulting in their John and Yoko style “Love In.” It did result in a very good ladder match at No Surrender 2008 (dubbed a Ladder of Love match) for Val’s love.
— Garrett Kidney (@garrettkidney) February 27, 2017
Second Time’s the Charm (March 2011)
It was three years before the next TNA wedding. This time on the March 3rd, 2011 Impact where Karen was once again renewing her wedding vows this time with Jeff Jarrett (yes, Karen has renewed her vows with two different people during her TNA tenure). Bitter ex-husband Kurt interrupted and smashed Karen’s face in a cake. They tried again later in the show but Kurt still wasn’t having any of it. While Jeff was pronouncing Karen to be the wind beneath his wings, Kurt pulled an axe, an actual axe, out from under the minister’s lectern – because he’s a psychopath who does that kind of thing apparently. Everybody understandably scattered before Angle ended proceedings by locking New York Jets linebacker Bart Scott in an Ankle Lock.
— Garrett Kidney (@garrettkidney) December 23, 2016
Every Little Girl’s Dream (April 2012)
A year later, on the Lockdown go home show, Eric Young and ODB tied the knot – cementing their unconventional relationship. Notable for occurring inside a steel cage – I don’t know this for certain but I’m pretty sure a steel cage wedding ceremony is what every little girl dreams of. Rather than taking Young’s last name, ODB vowed to take his ring music – which feels like solid pro wrestling precedent. Rosita and Sarita came out and tempted Eric with a strip tease, trying to lure him away from his girl. Eric resisted, stripped off his baby blue suit to his underwear and made out ferociously with ODB. Eric Young and ODB would go on to prove an extremely effective unit, holding the Knockouts tag team titles for 478 days (the longest title reign in TNA history).
— Garrett Kidney (@garrettkidney) February 19, 2017
Bully & Brooke (January 2013)
And most recently in 2013, Bully Ray and Brooke Hogan got married – much to the chagrin of disapproving daddy Hulkster. Groomsman Taz interrupted asking Bully whether he was certain he wanted to marry Brooke. Taz then, hold your gasps, revealed himself to be a member of the dastardly Aces and 8s. As it turns out Bully was also a member of Aces and 8s and married Brooke to mess with Hulk (Bully’s death stare into the camera on the January 10th, 2013 Impact after he proposed wasn’t sufficient tip off apparently) before he “traded up” replacing Brooke Hogan with Brooke Tessmacher, because he has a thing for Brooke’s.
TNA weddings don’t tend to end very well but last week’s was a great moment for the Allie character who finally got her comeuppance on Maria with one of the all-time great pro wrestling kisses:
— Garrett Kidney (@garrettkidney) February 24, 2017
Read the full recap of TNA’s sixth in-ring wedding below: