WWE Superstars
May 13, 2016

Watch: WWE Network

Cesaro def. Bo Dallas

Bo effectively played the bag of sand in this match to take all of Cesaro’s big moves. The best moment of was Cesaro upper cutting the Dallas during the BoTrain which as Tom Phillips isn’t much of  train with only Dallas and Axel. Is Slater giving up on these two doofus’? This was exactly what these matches should be when one of the bigger names steps down to Superstars.

This Week in Superstars History (05/04/1991)

This was a really dry week for Superstars, both in the present and the past. I was close to stretching the grace of the VOW overlords and submitting reviews of WCW Pro from May ’91. Anyway, I thought better of it, snuggled into my Jake the Snake Wrestling Buddy and pointed the DeLorean toward the Civic Auditorium in Omaha, Nebraska.

Slim pickings in the ring on this Superstars (Colonel Mustafa, Virgil and Berserker squashes). In the Funeral Parlour, Hulk Hogan graced the Superstars with his presence. He was everything Hulk Hogan ever was in 1991 and the ongoing distasteful Slaughter/Hogan feud was extended (Hogan loves America yadda, yadda).

The Nasty Boys defended the Tag Team Titles against the Rockers in a match that never really got going and ended with a DQ after Jannetty was clattered with Jimmy Hart’s motorcycle helmet.

Apollo Crews def. Stardust

Apollo Crews doing his two week rotation in the Superstars main event which is no bad thing given that if we don’t see him here, we aren’t seeing him anywhere else. Apparently, this match resulted from a week long Twitter feud. Surprisingly, that passed me by but, hey, at least they’re trying. I really don’t see Crews going anywhere but he really does give his all in these matches and his charisma/talent is evident.

Of course, Crews inevitably has to give far more offence than necessary to Stardust. If that wasn’t bad enough Stardust ensures it’s boring rest hold offence. If I want rest holds Cody, I’ll go back to my Colonel Mustafa squash matches. Crews had to throw the kitchen sink at Stardust. Jeez, do we really need to protect the Stardust? Crews picked up the win with a toss power bomb. Poor Apollo, lots of talent, lots of effort but destined to have back and forth matches with mediocrity.