This week’s WWE Main Event features an eight man tag and divas in the main event!
The Usos and The Prime Time Players vs Tyler Breeze, Stardust and The Ascension
Trust me folks, I tried my hardest to come up with names for these two teams but it just isn’t happening. You either end up with something with way too many adjectives or a name resembling a mashup theme title on YouTube (I’m looking you at ‘Meat on the Better Than Perfect Table’).
The heel team here is obviously at odds with each other from the get go. Tyler is obviously far above this and spends most the time on the apron telling Stardust to stop touching his fluffy jacket. The bond between the members of Cosmic Wasteland however, seems oddly impenetrable. Why are they even a team? Was this ever explained? I understand why they’d team up to better their own careers, not that it’s worked thus far, but having Stardust in control doesn’t make sense to me. It could be explained by Stardust being charismatic enough to get his crazy beliefs across with the Ascension and make him look like some all-knowing sage, but he never actually acts this way. Darren Young gets the hot tag and goes to town on Stardust and even hits a nasty apron backdrop (a la Roddy Strong). He tags to Titus to let him hit The Dad Slam on Stardust for the win.
Jack Swagger vs Fandango
Swagger’s streak may have been broken last week, but he hasn’t lost his smile, nor his will to fight on! That’s what makes him forever our Ace of Main Event. Now looking to regain momentum, it’s fortunate that his opponent is Fandango. This match is very short, as Swagger quickly catapults Fandango into the air and catches his leg into the Patriot Lock on the way down to force him to tap out. Everyone knows that leg submissions are super effective on Fandango as without them he wouldn’t be able to dance so fabulously. This dominant display goes to show that Swagger is back into the groove, and will no doubt look to get his win back over Kevin Owens at WrestleMania.
Paige and Natalya vs Naomi and Tamina
Paige and Nattie are teaming up here because… why? Is Paige face now? Even if that’s true, does that negate everything that she did to Natalya? I suppose there’s no point pretending that any thought goes into the booking of Divas anyway. Paige headbutts Tamina early in the match and immediately regrets her decision. Is this the first time that that Samoan trope has been applied to Tamina? This is actually quite a good match, which I wasn’t expecting from a seemingly throwaway tag match. Paige especially works hard, firing off stiff knee strikes and power moves throughout. She’s also in for about ninety percent of the match, building up to a pretty fantastic hot tag to Natalya. She gets all her spots in within about thirty seconds: a slingshot atomic drop into the stomp and basement dropkick followed by a Nattie-By-Nature and finally the Sharpshooter gets locked in! Naomi wiggles her way out and slaps on the Slay-O-Mission for the victory. Good match, fun finish.
Final Thoughts: A cast of wrestlers that WWE has no idea what to do with once again show up on WWE Main Event. Great Divas’ main event, the rest is skippable as per usual.