Welcome to the final WWE Main Event of 2015! I have some thoughts on how to rebrand the show, as well as Titus O’Neil! Once again, Jack Swagger is in the featured match, this time against Stardust!
Heath Slater vs R-Truth
Oh boy, this hardly looks like the fight of the century does it? Every week I think to myself that these jobbers have nothing to lose and maybe they’ll go out there and make each other look like a million bucks (since that’s all they’ve done in their whole careers), but there doesn’t appear to be any incentive for them to steal the show when said show is WWE Main Event. Instead all we get is mediocre wrestling in between long rest holds that never build to anything.
You’d think that Heath Slater, who relies on his social media following to stay relevant at all, would go all out on these shows to make Main Event what it should be: a showcase for midcarders that haven’t found a place on RAW and SmackDown. There is plenty of support for people like Slater who would tune in if they knew that their oddball favourites were actually going to try. Alicia Fox and other Divas have made great use of the show on the other hand, since they get time, main events and are free from the terrible plotlines they’re usually subjected to. If you haven’t already, check out Alicia Fox vs Naomi (episode 164) and Sasha Banks vs Becky Lynch (episode 163).
It’s not like this matchup is anything new either, this battle of the embarrassing music gimmicks has been done to death. If you put a gun to my head, the positive is that you can’t possibly know who would win this as neither are being pushed (this was before Social Outcasts). R-Truth picks up the win with ‘Little Jimmy’. Remembering that gimmick made me realise that things could be worse, impressively.
Titus O’Neil vs Adam Rose
Titus appears to be getting some kind of singles push in a tiresome feud with Stardust and has been making frequent appearances on WWE Main Event to throw guys around for five minutes or so. His matches are never awful, but the appeal is fading fast. Adam Rose has a creepy sex pest moustache, but other than that, nothing is new. Rose plays some mind games and Titus gets mad, prompting him to ragdoll Rose around with even more ferocity before hitting ‘Clash of the Titus’ for the victory.
The Titus Train rolls on; where is it going? Nobody knows. If WWE really wants to get Titus over, they just need to make a gimmick out of his ‘Dad of the Year’ status. Why not have him give out merch to children in the crowd like CIMA or KUSHIDA (those guys are pretty over, it has to work) and teach other younger wrestlers to stand up for themselves. You know, Dadly things.
Jack Swagger vs Stardust
WWE Main Event’s resident Ace: Jack Swagger is once again picking up wins for no reason. If you’re unfamiliar with his work down here on Main Event, the formula works like this: he works a slow paced match in which the best parts are when his opponent is in control, and then locks in a surprise Patriot Lock for the victory.
Early in the match, Swagger comes charging at a cornered Stardust, who reverses and slings Swagger over his shoulder like a finished banana. Swagger goes right over the ringpost and to the outside, smashing his face on the the ring steps in the process. Such elegance, like an eagle. The hilarity continues as Stardust argues with the referee following a near fall. John Wade barks “YOU QUESTION MY AUTHORITY!?” and Stardust backs off. Swagger catches a ‘Disaster Kick’ (not into a Patriot lock mind you, that would be cool) and rolls through for a two count. He then counters ‘The Queen’s Crossbow’ into the Patriot Lock for the victory. Predictable but not terrible.
Final Thoughts: Well it’s another empty show with nothing noteworthy (unless you like to watch Jack Swagger faceplant onto steel steps). As per usual, maybe check out any matches with your favourites in but don’t expect them to be on top form.