SHINE Wrestling Vol. 30
October 2, 2015
The Orpheum
Ybor City, FL

Hi, I’m not Warren Taylor! Your usual SHINE Wrestling reviewer is occupied, so I’m pinch hitting for tonight. I’ve seen many of the people on this card, and even reviewed some of them when covering SHIMMER for this very site. If you’ve read my Raw Reviews, you know I tend to focus on everything but the wrestling. Well not here. You’re going to get the matches being watched, you’re going to get analysis of what’s happening, and by god you’ll even get star ratings!

Me vs. Internet

Connectivity issues meant I jumped into the show in the middle of the Andrea vs. Latasha match. I still can’t believe Andrea is the former Betsy Ruth/Rosie Lottalove. Her physical transformation is shocking. Winner: Andrea

Thunderkitty vs. Ivelisse

Not used to heel Thunderkitty. This match is something that my mind is having trouble wrapping itself around. Best TK style clash match since she faced Kana.

Starting off with some matwork as the crowd chants “kill the kitty.” Hard to mesh given the exaggerated nature of TK’s offense against Ivelisse’s more “realistic” looking work. Three Amigas suplexes by Ivelisse. Disturbing digression at the announce table discussing whether or not Thunderkitty has ever had sex and her likely prudish nature.

Ending of the match saw shenanigans as TK locked in the iron claw but ACR distractions led to the ref not being able to see what likely was an illegal escape. Sloppy match that never really found its footing and the timing was constantly off between these two. Just ugly. ¾* Winner: Ivelisse

Taylor Made (w/April Hunter and So Cal Val) vs. Kimber Lee

Lexie Fyfe comes out an officially forces Kimber Lee to relinquish the tag titles due to the injury to her partner Cherry Bomb. She announces a tag team title tournament in December to crown new champs.

Kimber Lee looks like she has leaned out significantly recently. Whenever I see that I wonder if they’ve been getting a look from WWE. Whilst discussing aesthetics, I have to add I’m not feeling the purple hair.

Starts off with some armdrags and hip tosses by Made, only to have Lee counter with the same moves, only these drove Made from the ring. Nice enziguri by Lee followed by a truly nasty couple of chops. Sliding faceplant by Kimber, but distractions lead to Made getting the neckbreaker into a series of seated forearms.

Whenever I see April Hunter I can only ever think of CM Punk’s Livejournal post mocking her

Made with a few nice chops, but a blind charge into the corner gets turned into a modified Tarantula. Things get serious with Taylor slapping the taste out of Lee’s mouth. Simultaneous crossbody attempts put both women down. Forearm and kick battle in the center of the ring that was in need of more hatred and violence to really get the point across. Lee muscles up Made into a near deadlift suplex. Lee finally gets the win after a missile dropkick, wrapping up the pin with a folding press.  Decent match that never quite got out of second gear. The way they worked the match it needed me to feel like they hated each other, but instead it seemed more like they were mildly annoyed because one of them cut the other off in traffic. ** Winner: Kimber Lee

This show is flying along. Not a moment’s break from match to match. I know they have to get everything in, but a few seconds between matches wouldn’t be a bad thing.

Malia Hosaka (w/Thunderkitty and Leilani Kai) vs. Leah Von Dutch

I approve of the “Dino Hunter” nickname, but it seems like a pretty feud specific name for Von Dutch. Though maybe she can combine the Legend Killer gimmick of Randy Orton with the Gracie Hunter gimmick of Kazushi Sakuraba. I want her to come to the ring wearing a Super Mario outfit and doing creepy snake movements. If this were a few years earlier her arc would culminate in destroying Mae Young. 

Von Dutch shows off her gymnastic skills and agility to get out of a Hosaka armbar.Hosaka plays such a quality grumpy old heel. Her disdain for anyone who grew up and didn’t have to use a slide rule in school is palpable. Hosaka gains control and deliberately roughs up LVD, leaning on her, using her size advantage and her numbers advantage. Most of Hosaka’s offense is based around chokes and thrusts to the throat, culminating in a modified camel clutch using Von Dutch’s own hair to choke her. Everything about this makes sense. Von Dutch is younger, faster, and most certainly has the endurance advantage. So how to counter that? Take away her wind, make her slow and out of breath. When you’re gasping for air and laying on the mat you can’t fly around your opponent. As long as the ref is going to allow it, it’s a thoroughly logical way to attack.

Continued interference by TK and Kai allowing Hosaka to continue to work on the neck. Interesting handstand scissor by Hosaka from a Tarantula position. Bit of an ugly spot to give Von Dutch an advantage for a moment, but a gut shot and an eye rake put Hosaka back in control. Hosaka counters a sunset flip with a judo thrust to the throat and I am so happy with this match right now. Hosaka is making everything about attacking the throat in as many ways as possible, and refusing to be distracted in her quest to murder Von Dutch’s windpipe.

The love affair came to a screeching halt with some of the most awfully timed interference ever. It is hard to explain how badly this came across. Von Dutch was rolling Hosaka into a Boston Crab. Right in front of her TK entered the ring with a chair, somehow sneaking around to the side, slowly raising the chair as Hosaka rolled through the Crab, and TK finally “swings” the chair and hits Hosaka. I wish that ending would have been smooth, because I actually really enjoyed that match. I’m not usually keen on dropping a match rating for a single move, but that ending sequence was like watching a behind the scenes feature where actors work with a tennis ball before the CGI gets put in. It was that jarring. *** Winner: Leah Von Dutch

Rhia O’Reilly/Sammi Baynz vs. Leva Bates and Mia Yim

Saraya’s off to the bar. This cannot end well for anyone.

Leva Bates is definitely not going for the Blue Pants look tonight. And Mia Yim’s insane clown mask is terrifying. Not as terrifying as Saraya Knight just standing at the bar, but terrifying nonetheless.

Pretty sure this is Sammi’s first visit to the U.S. First really significant move of the match was a nasty Yakuza kick by Yim to O’Reilly. Bates is so different from I’ve ever seen her before. Not just the look of PWC top, full face mask, and leather pants. Her movements are feline and unnerving. This is not my beautiful house.

Baynz busts out a perfect slingshot suplex and it’s all I can do not to just give the match five stars right now. Baynz and O’reilly are cutting off the ring on Bates. Baynz needs to be more aggressive with her shots. She’s a big woman against two very small women.

Yim finally tags in and is throwing suplexes all over the place. She has the physical strength needed to toss around bigger opponents and be convincing. That said her package piledriver on Baynz looked a little worrisome. Even though they were beaten, Baynz and O’Reilly went straight to the bar after and grabbed shots. Rhia O’Reilly is truly Irish. Fun little match. **¼ Winners: Mia Yim and Leva Bates

Su Yung (w/ So Cal Val & April Hunter) vs. Madison Eagles

Welp, we’re definitely into the creepy gimmicks part of the show. And Oh Shit it’s Madison Eagles. I’m going to say this, and I have no qualms about it. Madison Eagles is the best female wrestler in the world. I’ve seen Sasha Banks, I’ve seen Becky Lynch, and I am still comfortable making this statement. In a better, happier world Madison Eagles would be ending the Divas Revolution by just murdering every not named Sasha, Becky, or Charlotte.

The discovery of a fork in Madison’s boot leads to multiple fork related chants. A second fork leads to Yung swallowing a fork and a gush of blood like substance out of her mouth. Su Yung plays crazypants quite well. I think the hair is a big part of it.

Eagles actually on the defense for most of the match. Yung has been keeping Eagles down with speed and leverage on the mat, putting Eagles into bad situations. Whenever Madison is able to get a clean shot she sends Yung flying, but Su has mostly avoided trouble. Finally Eagles uses her size and strength to get Yung to the mat and attacks the legs then transitions into a modified surfboard. Eagles headbutting Yung’s hand as she reached for the ropes and for Hunter. The story of Eagles having to focus and use her whole arsenal to stay out of trouble after underestimating Yung is a good one. Yung drops out of a lift by Eagles and ends up with a bodyscissors/sleeperhold combo. Eagles eventually powers out by just tossing Young off of her back.

Yung continues to use her speed to counter, pulling Eagles into the tree of woe. Eagles uses her ridiculous size to counter by hitting Yung with a Pele Kick from an upside down position. After a German suplex by Eagles fails to get the pin Yung again uses the ring ropes to put Eagles in a precarious position, only for Eagles to use her significant strength advantage to escape and land a german suplex on the apron. Yung went to load up the mist but Eagles nearly kicked her head off for two. Yung regains control with a headscissors taking Madison’s head into a turnbuckle. Two huge slaps by Yung pisses Eagles off and tosses her across the ring. Yung seemed unaffected by the suplex, but the sight of Saraya Knight broke her brain apparently, as she stood frozen while Eagles hooked her into the Hellbound for the pin.

This match caught me off guard. I did not expect to see Yung getting so much offense, and have it mostly seem believable. I didn’t expect Yung to inhabit that character so fully. She was damn spooky at points. Really good match, great to watch, and reinforces that Madison Eagles is a wrestling machine. **** Winner: Madison Eagles

Kay Lee Ray vs. Jessicka Havok

Kay Lee Ray is fun to watch. A quick start for Ray using her speed to keep Havok off-balance with dives and kicks. Her suicide dive turns out to be aptly names and Havok catches her and sends her head first into the ringpost. Havok with the advantage as they get back in the ring and Havok hits Ray with three curb stomps, though the third one was more of a pushing trash away with her foot than a stomp. Havok continues to keep Ray grounded with a vicious backbreaker and kicks to the stomach. A second and third backbreaker were successful, but a fourth try gave Ray a chance to land a counter DDT.

Havok regained control, asserting dominance with running foot washes and confusing the crowd by yelling “Who’s the man?!” This moment of pondering the failure of a binary construct such as gender to encompass the fluidity of how human minds and hearts work gave Ray a chance to dodge a foot wash. Multiple suicide dives by Ray put Havok on the ground outside, but Ray overplayed her hand and Havok snatched her up from a hurricanrana attempt turned into a power bomb on the apron. Ray’s attempt at a top rope senton missed, and Havok was able to grab Ray up for a match-ending chokeslam. Decent power vs. speed match, if a bit one-sided. **¼ Winner: Jessicka Havok

Evie vs. Santana

I’ve previously mentioned my unabashed Evie fanboy status. This will likely color my review of this match.

Evie begins with kicks, but gets snatched into a Muta Lock. Fight over a wristlock allows both to show of their array of counters, but finally Santana gains control forcing Evie face down on the mat. Santana a step ahead at the beginning, but finally Evie lands a few of her kicks. Santana regains control and goes back to working the arm. Santana dropping down gets Evie in a seated position and lands a boot of her own. Evie reminds everyone she’s the one with the deadly feet as she hits Santana with a bootwash. Hanging axe kick by Evie gets two, with a running kick to Santana on the kickout.

Evie hooks the single leg crab. Santana escapes and lands a kick. Trading forearms and kicks, even a headbut by Santana as they fight to a stalemate in the center of the ring. Evie misses her running Yakuza kick and Santana takes control with rapid fire attacks, ending in a Russian Leg Sweep. Two count transitions into Santana hooking a cross-armbreaker. Evie hitting the Rock Bottom backbreaker and some more kicks, but Santana ends the rally with a superkick for two. Evie lands the running Yakuza Kick and heads to the top, where she’s met by a leaping kick to the head by Santana. Shining Star Press gives Santana the win. Nothing really wrong with the match, but it felt like it was the first few minutes of a much longer match, and the ending really didn’t feel earned. I would love to see them go 20-25 and really leave it all out there. **½ Winner: Santana, who is not as awesome as Evie

Saraya Knight vs. Allisyn Kay

This is an Anything Goes match. This implies that there are Saraya Knight matches that are not, in fact, anything goes. I find this ridiculous.

Saraya waits at the entrance to attack Kay. She’s smart. Insane, but smart.

Slap battle on the outside leads to crotch kicks 1 and 2. A DDT on the outside gives Saraya the chance for #3. Kay missing a right hand and banging her hand against a support beam that sounded nasty. The fight ends up at the bar where Kay drags Knight along the bar in a great spot. Knight slaps a fan and in other news water continues to be wet. She attacks fans like she’s Brody in Tokyo. Kay gets a plastic bag over Knight’s head and Terry Funk nods in approval. Knight countering by DDT’ing Kay onto a trash can.

A full beer into Kay’s face turns the tide. More battling at the bar before Kay leads Knight back to the ring. Finally interference by O’Reilly gives Knight a chance to use a chair to attack. Kay tries to go Stone Cold with a PBR but I’m not thinking she cared for it much. Knight is busted open and trapped in a cross arm choke. It is hard to tell where Knight’s hair dye ends and the blood begins. She looks like an angry demon.

Finally a DDT from the bar to a chair on the floor gives Kay the win. It’s impossible to rate something like this. I will say though that this was probably the first time I felt like Allisyn Kay was showing something more than just “random bitchy heel”. I’ve always kind of slept on Kay, but this match made me see more of Kay’s charisma than I’d ever really seen before. Kay drops Rob Naylor with a stunner, leaving fresh meat in the ring for Saraya. And a huge kick to the nuts drops Naylor a second time. Not a match, but a spectacle worth **¾ Winner: Allysin Kay

Final Thoughts: Of what I saw there was really only one match that I didn’t at least somewhat enjoy. Everything moved briskly, to the point where some of the matches could have benefited from having more time to stretch out and really get going. I don’t know that I would pay for the replay, though the Eagles vs. Yung match and the Hosaka vs. Von Dutch match left me feeling like I got my money’s worth out of the purchase.

If you’re in Chicago for SHIMMER next weekend stop by and say hello. I’ll be tweeting thoughts throughout the weekend at @spiffie6123.