Impact Wrestling on Destination America
Wednesday, July 22
Universal Studios, Orlando, FL
Dixie Carter opened the show announcing that Jeff Jarrett will join Sting, Kurt Angle and Team 3D in the TNA Hall of Fame. They certainly didn’t hold back the hyperbole in his induction video which is funny considering how relations between Jarrett and TNA have been over the last couple of years. If TNA are to have a Hall of Fame Jarrett does have to be in there. Jarrett’s induction will happen next week.
Street Fight – Bram vs. Magnus
For some reason this match is a street fight and for some reason it was joined in progress. Magnus dominated for a little while including a superplex but Bram turned the tables with weapons. Magnus hit a missile dropkick and trapped Bram in a trash can before hitting it with a chair a couple of times. Magnus hit a nice top rope elbow for a near fall. The referee was bumped, because of course he was, and Magnus hit the Spineshaker but the referee was late to the count and Bram kicked out. Bram hit a low blow and rolled Magnus up for the win. Everything about the booking of this match was lazy. From the trite plunder brawling to the lazy ref bump to the tired, fifteen years past its sell by date “protect the face, put heat of the heel” finish. It happens so often and is treated as such an afterthought that it puts absolutely no heat on Bram and realistically nobody is going to remember this match next week so there was no reason to “protect Magnus”. The execution was fine I suppose for the time they had. Storm promised things were going to get worse for Magnus later in the show. **
Eli Drake came to the ring to explain why he turned on Drew Galloway last week. Drake said he was upset that Drew kept on talking about standing up and he suggested people sit down instead. Drake said he used The Rising to get his foot in the door and promised that Drew will never become TNA champion. Drake talked a lot and his delivery was good but he never actually explained why he turned on Galloway. He kind of just talked around it for a while. And The Rising was already dead and gone so why did he turn on Drew? Drew came out said nothing has hurt him more in his fifteen years of wrestling than when Drake, his brother, turned on him. Drew surveyed the crowd as to what he should do and then jumped Drake. They brawled for a little while before Galloway tried to hit the Future Shock but Drake bailed and ran. This story feels so forced. Drew was talking as if Drake was his best friend but they’ve barely been together and I’m still not certain exactly why Drake turned on Drew because The Rising were going their separate ways anyway. And then there’s the part where Drake faked a knee injury in the Loser Disbands match vs. the BDC a few weeks ago that feels entirely tacked on to this feud (and was only ever mentioned by Josh Mathews here). The whole thing just seems poorly conceived, constructed and executed.
Taryn Terrell interrupted a plug for BBQ Pit Wars and came to the ring, where a cage was set up. Taryn promised to lock herself in the cage until she got her title back. Taryn was essentially just screeching. Taryn screeching doesn’t make for particularly enjoyable TV. Brooke came out and mostly rubbed it in that she beat Taryn for the title. She also came across as smug and fairly unlikable. Gail Kim showed up and beat down Marti Bell and Jade as Terrell looked on. Taryn literally spent this whole segment screaming at the top of her lungs.
This week’s Hernandez time consisted of re-airing the entire King of the Mountain match from Slammiversary. If you’d like to read my thoughts on that match and Slammiversary as a whole check out my Slammiversary review.
They aired a video about Tigre Uno talking about how he was proud of his country and how Donald Trump’s comments about Mexican’s were extremely off base. Uno then challenged Trump to come to the Impact Zone next week. For the most part I liked this. It was a measured, thoughtful response to what was nothing more than horrible racism from Trump. It established Uno as a family man, proud of his culture and willing to stand up when his people are unfairly attacked. It was more character development than Uno has had since he debuted sixteen months ago. Then they had to go and make it gimmicky by having Uno call outs Trump. They had to turn this into a cheap ploy for attention rather than something substantive for Uno.
James Storm and his band of goons came to the ring. Storm was upset that Mickie James turned down his offer to join The Revolution. Next week it will be Magnus and Mickie James vs. Storm and the newest member of The Revolution Serena Deeb. Deeb was upset that her former friend Mickie James left her behind. Perfectly fine set up for their match next week.
Chain Match – Eric Young vs. Rockstar Spud
I’m not exactly sure why this is a chain match, but TNA rarely ever have reasons for most of their stipulation matches. Both men are chained together at the wrist; you win by pinfall or submission. Young choked Spud with the chain. Josh Mathews has really got to stop talking about things trending worldwide during a taped show. It serves no real purpose other than simply lying to the audience. Spud crotched Young with the chain and made a comeback before Young used the referee as a human shield, cut Spud off and pinned him after a Piledriver. There wasn’t really much to this match. *1/4
Tables Match (#1 Contenders Match) – Bobby Roode vs. Matt Hardy
I’m not exactly sure why this is a tables match, but TNA rarely ever have reasons for most of their stipulation matches. Hardy hit the Side Effect early and grabbed a table but Roode cut him off. Roode suplexed Hardy on the ring steps. Hardy looked for a Bulldog but Roode reversed into a Spinebuster. Hardy hit the Twist of Fate and placed Roode on a table. Hardy looked for a moonsault but Roode crotched him. Roode tried a Roode Bomb but Hardy escaped and dumped Roode over the top through a table on the floor to pick up the win. Table matches are rarely that interesting and this wasn’t particularly long so it didn’t overachieve. Hardy will get a future shot at EC3. **1/4
Final Thoughts: I know a lot of this show had to be aired out of the original context it was intended but even still so little of this show feels like it matters. The wrestling is bland and the promos, while usually at the very least decent, rarely overcome the shortcomings of the story. It feels like such a nothing, lifeless show.