This week’s episode of Lucha Underground begins as Chavo bursts into Dario’s office and asks for Dario to give him one more thing, and that is a no DQ title match against Puma. Chavo prefaces that if Konnan gets involved, he (Chavo)Â automatically gets the title. Chavo’s villainous laugh when Dario gives him what he wants was incredibly awkward, uncomfortable and the perfect way to start tonight’s show.
Delevar Daivari vs. Texano Jr.
THIS AGAIN!? Man, enough with this! This story has gone absolutely nowhere, why do I care about Daivari being a little runt against Texano all the time. Nothing has been fresh in this “feud” and I’m tired of it. Daivari hiding behind hired muscle Ryck is the oldest heel trick in the book.
Ryck is cool as the mercenary who will take anyone’s money, but at the same time he was carving out a bigger role on this show and now he’s stuck back in this position. Texano is completely unbelievable as a babyface. Not the good unbelievable, but the “I literally cannot believe you are a babyface” unbelievable. He does not have the look or attitude for it. Honestly, I’m so sick of this matchup that I’m not wasting anymore time on this. This is in worst feud of the year territory for me, it’s an inconsequential match that means nothing. I never usually rip this show like this, but I have legitimate beef with this. Texano finally sitout bombs Daivari to mercifully end this. Please be the end of this. Please no more. I have to guess maybe it’s Ryck/Texano next though. *1/2
Daivari should lay off the sauce. He’s already powerbombed. #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/FFQWuzA7Qe
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) July 2, 2015
Konnan pumps up Puma and tells him Chavo stacking the deck means nothing, and that he’s a cheating chump, etc. Catrina shows up after the lights flicker and warns Puma if he survives tonight, Â he will get destroyed by Mil Muertes who shows up and stares down Puma. He disappears after the lights flicker, and Puma is looking like he just saw his life flash before his eyes. Bringing in some doubt for him at Ultima Lucha.
Back from commercial, Konnan talks to someone unseen by the camera about collecting the debt from Chavo for attacking Blue Demon. For Mexico of course. Who could it be?
Hernandez vs. Drago
This match transpires because Hernandez helped cost Drago a spot in Ultima Lucha last week by interfering in the Drago/Mil match before it started. This match is about the agility of Drago vs. the strength and brute force of Hernandez. Hernandez worked him over with his power, and then Drago countered with his high flying offense to the outside. Hernandez nailed that Border Toss onto the ring apron, and then grabbed a fan’s belt and whipped Drago with it and started choking him, leading to the ref to ring the bell for a DQ. Ugh. This wasn’t a good finish here, although I found the fan’s belt bit pretty funny. **1/4
Hernandez is lucky @DragoAAA didn’t land horns first! #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/Xf16MASIl0
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) July 2, 2015
Hernandez kept at it with the choking with the belt and then grabbed a mic. He tells the fans DRAGONS. ARE NOT REAL. Your hero is just a man! And if the audience had a problem, he’ll whip their ass too. Dragons aren’t real. That one’s going in the history books, and probably numerous wrestling promo compilations on YouTube.
Catrina shows up behind Chavo, and tells Chavo if he wins tonight, his reign will be short lived because Mil Muertes will kill him. Same speech she gave Puma basically. Except this time Mil screamed very loudly at the camera.
Marty the Moth vs. Alberto El Patron
Friggin Marty, man. He was behind Melissa sniffing her hair again as he was announced, wearing his ridiculous Aztec Pride shirt. I swear, Marty’s gimmick has to be a rib on some of the ridiculously obsessive and weird wrestling fans out there. Has to be. If it is, it’s complete pure genius. But yeah, can you say squash? This lasted all but a minute and a half after Alberto made him tap with the cross armbreaker. Yikes. NR
Alberto El Patron is back in the ring… and he put the hurt on Marty The Moth! #LuchaUnderground @VivaDelRio pic.twitter.com/JXV6ETB8Uz
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) July 2, 2015
Alberto cuts a promo following that quick squash. He calls out Johnny Mundo and tells him thank you. Thank you for giving me a wake up call, waking up the evil part of El Patron when he threw him through the window of Cueto’s office. Alberto explains that the sadistic part of him is coming for Mundo, and he’ll disfigure Mundo’s face in return. Alberto post WWE is so good at rallying a crowd behind him, amazing what happens when you break that leash.
Chavo Guerrero vs. Prince Puma (c) (No DQ, if Konnan interferes Chavo gains title)
Stripping Puma of any possible outside help here can only be good for him and making him look better for Mil Muertes. Don’t think this will be some technical masterpiece of the year, but it should be an interesting fight. As I say this, the match starts off incredibly technical. Welp. Of course The Crew come in to interfere. I think Striker said something to the extent of “I’m not sure if them interfering should apply to No DQ.” Are you kidding me? That’s part of the whole point…I give up with trying to understand Striker. Puma has to fight off the odds again, as he always seems to do. Texano comes to help, guess that was who Konnan talked to in order to help out. Puma then hits the 630 on Chavo to retain after Texano cleared out The Crew. Nothing very entertaining at all in ring wise. **
Crewlero! #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/SzbyCz14ME
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) July 2, 2015
Texano tells Chavo that Mexico is coming after him. Maybe we see more AAA guys/new faces to combat Chavo soon?
Our final scene sees us in the locker room with a frustrated Chavo. Blue Demon Jr. comes in, wearing mask dress shirt and slacks of course. Chavo browbeats him for having Texano help out, and said the crowd cheered more for Texano than they ever did for Blue Demon. Probably true, but nonetheless that pisses Blue Demon off and he smashes Chavo into lockers like the nerd he is, and exclaims that he IS Mexico.
.@BLUEDEMONJR SMASH PUNY CHAVO! #LuchaUnderground pic.twitter.com/UtTcBAgNV5
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) July 2, 2015
Final Thoughts:Â Easily the worst Lucha Underground episode I’ve reviewed. Wow. I don’t know what happened here. There were so many short, inconsequential matches that just did nothing for me. It at least seems that Texano has escaped the hellacious black void of Daivari and has moved onto trying to kill Chavo. Honestly, I really think the best parts of this episode were Hernandez telling the audience that dragons weren’t real, Alberto’s promo and maybe just Marty being Marty. There was nothing really redeeming with regards to in-ring work, nothing caught my eye. We had basically the same stuff of Mil and Catrina striking fear into Puma before the big match in however many weeks at Ultima Lucha. Just way too much story “advancement” here, if you could call it that and not nearly enough wrestling.