The show opens with Dario Cueto’s hired gang already in the ring, Big Ryck, Cortez Castro, & Cisco, with Castro cutting a promo on Johnny Mundo. Mundo does his best Hideo Itami impression, with a this-can’t-end-well one on three attack. Prince Puma runs in to help Mundo, Big Ryck quietly ducks out during all of this, and with the odds even the faces run off the bad guys. Insert hacky Teddy Long joke here, as Cueto comes out, says not so fast playas, calls out a referee, and we’ve got ourselves some impromptu tag team action.

1. Cortez Castro & Cisco vs Johnny Mundo & Prince Puma – Big Ryck is watching the action from the stands, while chomping on a giant cigar. Vampiro notes that Ryck isn’t setting the best example for young fans, and The Rockers agree:

Mundo is playing Ricky Morton. Vampiro says Mundo & Puma are at a severe disadvantage here, because they’re teaming for the first time, while Cortez & Cisco have known each other for years, fighting together in the streets and in the ring. This prompts Matt Striker to bring up his bar fighting experience, noting “I’ve been in a lot of bar fights, and you have to be prepared to be hit from all angles!” Oh, Matt. Not a single person believes that. Mundo makes the hot tag, giving Puma a chance to clean house and shine. The face team wins it with dual 450 splashes off the top rope. Cool match, hot action. ***1/4

Tweet of the Night (which may or may not continue as a weekly feature) goes to Missy Hyatt, who with apologies to Gran Akuma and Darin Corbin, might just be my favorite wrestling personality tweeter. Here is what Missy thought of Cisco:

Cinematic cut scene time, as Konnan warns Puma that Mundo can not be trusted. Konnan wasting no time pulling a Yoko Ono on the hottest tag team in the territory. Puma doesn’t speak, which will be interesting moving forward. Eventually he’ll probably have to, but it’ll kill the gimmick.

2. Son of Havok & Ivelisse vs Chavo Guererro Jr & Sexy Star – This match was nothing special until a hot finishing stretch, where the ladies really shined. Striker kept calling Son of Havok simply “Havok”, which prompted the line of the night from Vampiro who calmly explained, “Matt, that isn’t Havok, that’s Havok’s son.” Chavo had Havok’s son beat, but tagged in Sexy Star so she could score the pin and get revenge from last week. That probably won’t sit well with the ultra feminist whiny types, who will take issue with Chavo doing the dirty work and handing Sexy Star the easy win. This was another fun bout. ***

We are introduced to Mil Muertes (Ricky Bandares, Mesias), the man Cueto is sending after Blue Demon Jr because Chavo failed to get the job done last week. OK, here’s what I don’t get, and where the heel authority figure often shows holes. If Cueto hates Blue Demon Jr so much, why does he book him? Just fire the guy. Or don’t hire him to begin with.

We come back from commercial, and we’re introduced to Catrina (Maxine of WWE not really fame), who is Muertes’ valet. She licks Blue Demon Jr’s face, in what was referred to as the LICK OF DEATH. Is this going to be her gimmick? Is she going to have to lick all of Muertes’ opponents? Gross. BDJ thought so too, as he disgustedly wiped off her kiss like I used to do with my grandmother when I was a kid.

3. Blue Dee-Moan Jr vs Mil Muertes – I know it’s probably the correct pronunciation, but Striker is killing me with the Blue Dee Moan Junior thing. I’ve never liked Banderas in any gimmick or any promotion (except when being punched in the face by LA Park), and he did nothing to change my views here. This was the worst match on the show, but in fairness it was nothing but an extended squash, so from that respect they did get Muertes over as a monster. BDJ not only did a clean & efficient job, but he took a post match beating, too. Chavo ran in with a chair to make the save, and chased Muertes off, but for the second week in a row we ended the show with a SWERVE, as Chavo turned the chair on BDJ. This show has now run more swerve angles in two episodes than Verne Gagne ran in any two decades. Chavo was beating BDJ something fierce, when Sexy Star ran in to talk some sense into her tag partner. What happened next was incredible. Chavo absolutely murdered her with a chairshot. I don’t read spoilers, and WWE & TNA aren’t doing man on woman violence these days, so this both shocked & popped me all at the same time. I mean, Chavo came out of this looking like the biggest heel ever. Just an incredible spectacle, from the BDJ beating, the vicious chair shot, and BDJ being taken out on the stretcher. The show closed with Striker doing the low talking super serious voice, and a shot of an ambulance leaving the Temple. ** match, ***** angle. 

Final Thoughts:

Lucha Underground isn’t great, and I’m not even sure if it’s good. But through two weeks, Lucha Underground is FUN, and it leaves me wanting more. That’s really all you can ask as a viewer.