SummerSlam is over, and Brock Lesnar is the new WWE champion. To say that he defeated John Cena is putting it lightly. He DESTROYED John Cena, laying him with German suplex after German suplex. What will John have to say about that tonight? Brock Lesnar said to a conveniently placed TMZ paparazzi that he doesn’t like carrying two belts. Will we be seeing that new WWE championship that’s already been leaked tonight? Also, Stephanie will probably gloat and we’ll see where Roman Reigns goes from here.
Stephanie comes out mocking Daniel Bryan by doing the yes thing and celebrating. Haven’t seen this before. Says how we crowned a new WWE champion and tonight they’ll present him with a new championship belt (her words). Wishes John Cena a full recovery. The biggest loser of the night, however, was Brie, because she learned that the Authority always wins. She’s right. You can watch it for just $9.99 on the WWE Network. Thanks Triple H for being her rock and always being faithful, unlike Daniel Bryan. She goes over the Daniel Bryan affair angle that unfortunately is still a thing. She brings out Nikki Bella.
Stephanie wants to know her point of view. Her sister betrayed her, you see. She’s always been there for Brie, but secretly she thought that she did not become the woman she wanted her to be. It’s always been about Brie. She always wanted to compete with here and wanted to be better than her. Lots of complaining. She’d say she lost her sister, but she never had one, so now she’s free.
Brie comes to the ring. She asks why she did this. She can forgive her. Nikki slaps her, sending her to the ground. Says that she will never forgive HER. Brie exits the ring in tears as Stephanie and Nikki just stare. The Bella Twins’ acting is something to behold, but I guess we’ll see where it goes.
Question: So does Nikki forgive Stephanie for having her wrestle in a bunch of handicap matches for the last two months?
Mark Henry and Big Show vs. The Wyatt Family: Mark Henry and Big Show, who are pretty much just taking space here on the roster at this point, are instantly my least favorite tag team in existence. They had a long match that was…fine, if you want to call it that. Henry gets the win after Big Show lays out Harper with a punch, then to Rowan, and Henry pins Rowan with a World’s Strongest Slam. Yes, Big Show and Mark Henry is getting a push, and the Wyatts are not. Words can’t describe how angry this made me. These two have been wrestling on WWE/WCW TV since I was 9 years old. I am going to be 27 next month. I don’t need to see them on TV getting wins over guys half their age who have big upsides to them. BAD BAD BAD.
Dolph and Miz are having a rematch. Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose are having a rematch too. Say it with me now, REMATCHAPALOOZA~!
Speaking of, Dolph shook hands with Ric Flair, who congratulated him on the title win last night. Miz stood there and said something, I dunno. Distracted, sorry. But it shows you how inept creative is at the moment when you can’t figure out to do something with THE NATURE BOY RIC FLAIR.
Seth Rollins was doing a promo when suddenly a bucket of ice water got poured all over him. The camera pans to Dean Ambrose, who simply remarked “what, it’s for charity”. This ended up in a pull apart brawl. That was funny.
Kane and Triple H were talking when Seth came in, angry. Triple H made a rematch, but he will let the WWE Universe decide. I’m guessing it will be a street fight.
Paige vs. Natalya: Paige says she dedicates this match to “her little AJ”. I’d like this crazy gimmick if it weren’t for the fact that two other women on the roster weren’t already doing it. AJ, of course, came out to DISTRACT. Natalya, of course, rolls her up and get the win. This booking. AJ says despite everything she respects her. “I love you” she says. She needs to get into the ring right now and shake her hand. Paige bails. Apparently now the angle is to see who can out crazy the other. If only I cared. Neither character is likable and the booking of these distraction finishes is the worst thing imaginable.
Stipulations are no holds barred, falls count anywhere, or no disqualification. I’m pretty sure those are all the same exact match.
The Authority came out, and as they are 50 out of 52 weeks, they are all smiles. Great time to mention this angle has been going on for a year as of today. It’s felt like a decade. They showed the new title, which is pretty much the old WWE title but with the new logo. So the World title is done for good. Leave the memories alone, belt that was brought back because Triple H wanted a title. They all posed with the championship. People chanted LESNAR. The Authority left as Paul Heyman talked about last night. Says John Cena isn’t here tonight. You see, he can’t be here because he can’t physically be here thanks to Brock Lesnar. Talked about the reigns of various superstars at top, how Rock and Stone Cold were only on top for 3 or 4 years while John Cena’s been doing it for 10, and no top superstar has ever been destroyed the way John Cena was last night. Talks about how hustle loyalty and respect died with Brock Lesnar, how the Cenation died at the hands of Brock Lesnar. His client is the beast, and every title defense is must see. Mentions Lesnar’s shirt and how it says eat, sleep, conquer John Cena to close out the promo. Great stuff.
WWE Intercontinental Championship – The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler: The new Intercontinental champion did not get an entrance. The challenger, however, did. How does that make sense? Ziggler tweaked his knee doing a leapfrog and Ziggler gets locked into a figure four leglock after the commercial break. Ziggler superkicks Miz, but reinjures his knee and falls to the floor in pain to get counted out. Miz jumps Dolph after and rolls him into the ring, but Miz eats a zig zag once he gets into the ring. The rematch the world’s been waiting for!
Jack Swagger is backstage with Renee. Commentators explained what happened last night in the flag match. Says he failed, but tonight he’ll pick himself up because that is what We the People is. Zeb wasn’t there, so I guess his epic write off was getting kicked in the shoulder (announcers said face, but whatever) by Rusev.
Jack Swagger vs. Cesaro: I knew his opponent before they came back from commercial. They had an alright match. Lots of ankle lock attempts. Swagger then gets eye poked and Cesaro follows with the neutralizer for the victory.
Bo Dallas then comes out. Says you’ve lost Zeb Coulter and your dignity. But you can get it all back if you just BO-LIEVE. Rev’d up for this feud. No, seriously, it sounds great. I’m not being snarky for once in this report! I like the Bo Dallas character and Swagger’s been good with this new push.
Chris Jericho is backstage. Renee asks about him losing last night. Jericho says he’s never faced anyone like Bray Wyatt. When he looked into his eyes he saw nothing. After his match last night, he’s not dead inside. He was the fire inside to push inside him to be the best in the world. He has the best fans in WWE history and every Jerichoholic in this room is behind him chanting Y2J. He says with them behind him he’ll never ever be the same again. Ok.
Big Show vs. Erik Rowan takes place tomorrow. Can’t wait to not tune in!
Randy Orton and Rybaxel vs. RVD, Sheamus and Roman Reigns: This is an interesting combination. Ryback was over HUGE since they are in Las Vegas and got a bunch of chants. Ryback worked over Sheamus then tagged in Orton who worked on him as well. Reigns gets tagged in and makes a huge comeback, including hitting the Superman punch on both of Rybaxel but Orton takes him out. Turns into an all out brawl with RVD eventually getting the win on Axel with the frogsplash. That’s a weird person to pick up the win. Liked this a lot.
Randy Orton was walking backstage when Flair showed up. Orton told him to get lost. That was it.
Bray Wyatt promo. He is a man of his word. Jericho claims he saw nothing last night, emptiness. Maybe he doesn’t have a soul, he only collects them. He will never be able to comprehend what he is Behold, the new face of salvation. Ok.
The Usos vs. Stardust & Goldust: This wasn’t bad, just weird. Face/face dynamic. Usos got the heat on Stardust for a while, but then counters into a sunset flip and gets the three count. Not bad, but pretty long and weird.
Getting reports JBL is terrible on commentary tonight. Either I’ve completely blocked the commentary team out of my head (which is most Raws) or I haven’t noticed. He’s always bad. But Vince loves him~!
Rusev comes out with Lana. Lana says he dedicated his match last night at SummerSlam to Vladimir Putin. This brings out Mark Henry. Says he represented this country twice in the Olympic games. Last night it got under his skin how the Russian flag was raised. You say the power in America is gone. He says he doesn’t think so, and none of these people here think so either. Says listen here boy, I’m ready to give you a tour of the hall of pain. Rusev jumps him, but Henry leaves him lying with the World’s Strongest Slam and a big splash. Did I mention that while I hate Big Show and Mark Henry as a tag team, I love Mark Henry as a singles? It’s true! THIS WAS AWESOME.
John Cena addresses the WWE Universe next week. I don’t think he’ll be cutting jokes. Keyword being “think”.
Jerry Lawler is in the ring where he announces the winning stip for tonight’s main event. Falls count anywhere wins.
Falls Count Anywhere – Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose: They brawl to start things off ,eventually going into the crowd and around the stage. They make their way back to the ring and from there its back and forth. Rollins counters a superplex and powerbombs Ambrose into steel chairs. My favorite singles wrestler in the world, Kane then appears on the outside, ready to interfere. Rollins sets up a table, but this time it was Ambrose who counters with a superplex that puts them through the table. Of course, Kane interferes after this. Ambrose counters by giving both a suicide dive to the outside. He rolls Rollins in and hits the dirty deeds DDT, but Kane pulls the referee out of the way. Ambrose takes out Kane and goes for the dirty deeds on the table, but Kane grabs him and chokeslams him on the table. Rollins follows with the curb stomp, then Kane reveals an area where there are concrete blocks. Kane drags him over to the concrete blocks and Rollins lays him out with a curb stomp onto the cinderblocks. The referee stops the match, and Rollins wins. Wild brawl of a match that was pretty great.
Medics arrive to check on Ambrose. Rollins and Kane stands tall and poses as Raw goes off the air.
Pretty good show. There’s no real direction for Night of Champions right now other than some rematches, and maybe Henry/Show and Swagger/Dallas, but that’s cool. They have a few weeks. There were some good matches on the show and the main event was pretty great. So no complaining here, unless it contains Mark Henry and the Big Show teaming. Mark Henry as a singles is fine. Big Show as a singles…well, Mark Henry as a singles is fine.