Raw starts with The Authority. Wait, this isn’t the Authority’s music. For like the second time this year Raw starts with someone not named McMahon or Helmsley. It’s Roman Reigns. Man, they really are pushing him! Unlike other people, he’s come here with a point. Apparently, the Authority aren’t here tonight. He tries to figure out why Triple H put him in the match. I guess he thinks Orton & Kane will neutralize him, he’s wrong. A large “Cena sucks” chant starts. Roman says damn right when I’m in the ring Cena sucks. He promises to win the title. Kane’s music plays as he comes out. He stares at Roman. Roman says what are you going to do, just stand there? Lately you’ve been nothing but Triple H’s lapdog. Or Orton’s bitch. Kane comes down and they brawl. Kane gets the better of it when officials come and break it up. Reigns spears an official (Finlay) and stands tall as Kane is escorted away.
Jericho vs. Miz and Cena vs. Rollins going down tonight, and also Bret Hart is in the house.
They’re pushing the Network hard tonight. In case you didn’t know, there’s a free trial going on now without a credit card required. So take on that offer today!
The Usos vs. The Wyatts: GEE, HAVEN’T SEEN THIS BEFORE. Cole says that if the Wyatts win they could get back in the title hunt. Didn’t they do that last week when the Wyatts won that six man? I’m astonished I even remembered that. This was a good match, just like all of their other good matches. Actually this ventured into great territory with the heat it was getting. Usos were going for a double dive onto Harper, but Rowan trips one of them. The other Uso is distracted, turns around then eats a discus lariat from Harper for the pinfall. Usos argued with the ref after because apparently the Uso pinned was not the legal man. More rematches to come!!
More WWE Network plugs. It has a 90% satisfaction rate. Hey, I’m cool with it.
Kane and Randy Orton are backstage. Orton says how dare Reigns puts his hands on him. He has his back just like he knows he has his at Battleground. Rollins comes in and says he likes this solidarity. Promises victory later tonight. He leaves. Orton says he’s starting to hate that guy. Kane says not as much as he hates him. OOOH.
Nikki Bella vs. Alicia Fox: The stipulation is that she has one arm tied behind her back, with the storyline being she’s paying for what Brie did last month at Payback when she slapped Stephanie. Nikki has a spiky hat. I don’t know why this is newsworthy other than, um…ok. Alicia jumps her. The crowd found this boring. Match never started; Alicia went into crazy mode and poured Red Bull all over her. Nikki looked mad after. This was not executed well.
Lana and Rusev come to the ring to do their usual shtick.
Rusev vs. RVD: Colter cuts an inset promo challenging Rusev to a match against Swagger at Battleground. They had a pretty long match, at least by Rusev standards. It’s what he needs to do, so it was fine. RVD went for rolling thunder but Rusev got up and gave him that terrifying superkick. He locked in the Accolade, and that was it.
Randy Orton vs. Dean Ambrose: JBL said it was a standing ovation for Randy Orton. Lawler said it was more like standing boos. He came out to zero reaction, actually, so they’re both wrong. Ambrose has some rather interesting offense that made him stand out. Announcers made sure to note Ambrose’s shoulder injury from Money in the Bank. Ambrose was in control before commercial, but after he came back with a dropkick and started working on Ambrose’s shoulder. Randy went for his neckbreaker move but Ambrose fights out and applies a FIGURE FOUR. That’s peculiar. Orton fights back after and gives him an uppercut but Ambrose does his skin the cat comeback and they up fighting on the outside. Ambrose throws a bunch of chairs in. Orton jumps him from behind, however, and posts his shoulder. He gives him a draping DDT on the outside, but Ambrose makes the count at 9. Goes to give him another draping DDT, but Ambrose fights back. A number of nearfalls take place between the two. Orton pushes Ambrose out of the ring, but he does his skin the cat routine again only to walk into and RKO for the pinfall. Ambrose looked very strong here so don’t start complaining about him losing. Besides, Orton is in the main event and he isn’t. Very good match at the ***3/4 level.
John Cena promo. Doesn’t know where the next threat is coming from since he’s the champion and has a target on his back. Seeing him wear the titles like that just make me wish for one title. He handles business. Reigns comes walking in. Wishes him good luck tonight. Cena said those were some strong words earlier. Reigns says he’ll need at Battleground, homes.
Alberto del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler: I don’t remember if this is a rematch or not from last week’s programming. I’ve felt I’ve seen it a million times, so I’m counting it. Fandango is on commentary. They straight up ask him who he likes more, Summer Rae or Layla. I can barely understand what he’s saying because he’s basically mumbling. Maybe it’s just my hearing, I don’t know. del Rio looked good here, he did some cool spots including a reverse suplexing move off the top rope. Hey, I never said he sucked. Ziggler hits a famouser when all of a sudden Fandango stands on the announce table and starts dancing to his music. Ziggler becomes distracted and eats a superkick from del Rio, losing. Michael Cole notes that del Rio gets a US title opportunity tomorrow on the Main Event. Did they even push that once before or after the match?
Bizarre Goldust and Stardust promo. Goldust had his wig. He did his catchphrase, and Stardust did his back at him. He seemed startled at this. Ooookay…
Layla comes to Fandango backstage. She asks if he’s jealous of Dolph because Summer kissed him last week. He says no baby, I only have eyes for you. They embrace, but Fandango looks away and sees Summer in the distance, flirting and making an exit. He smiles as he and Layla embrace. DRAMA.
Jerry Lawler is in the ring. Says that thanks to Montreal’s medical staff and hospital he’s here today. Crowd chanted his name. He introduces Bret Hart, who gets a big pop. Looks like he’s limping a bit. Says that no matter what happened in the past, it’s always great to be back in Montreal. Says that the greatest fans are in Montreal. JBL says he disagrees. No one asked you, dimwit. Damien Sandow comes out dressed as him. Mentions Survivor Series 1997 and says he actually did lose but tried to feign it as a screwjob. Says that he also regrets being proud of being from a third world country like Canada. Says that he knows that talking wasn’t his strong suit, but- suddenly Bret punches Sandow and he falls out to the floor. Bret says yeah, punching was. Ha. Sheamus comes out and greets Bret as he has a match next.
Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow: My DVR decided to freak out at this moment. I’m guessing Sheamus won quickly. I was two minutes behind, fast forwarded, and the next thing you know there was a Miz promo, then it blacked out. I wonder if that was a coincidence. From what I hear Sheamus is in the battle royal. He already has a title. Why is he competing for another? I know you’ll say “because he wants two” which makes sense, sure, but shouldn’t he be defending the title he already has on PPV?
Yeah, Miz promo. Probably said nothing of note. Fuck, I fixed the DVR issue and it went right to the Miz promo anyway. I’m switching to cable. He had a letter from a fan that said when Chris Jericho attacked him, he died a little inside. What would have happened to the Marine 4 is something happened to his face. Umm, probably find another guy? Maybe Ted DiBiase can come back. He says when it comes to this fist, Chris Jericho is ready for his closeup.
Chris Jericho vs. The Miz: According to reports, these two tore the house down at live events over the weekend. I have doubts about this. They did have an alright match, nothing revolutionary. Back and forth mostly. Miz taps out to the Walls of Jericho quickly.
Bray Wyatt appears. Says that we’re waiting for you to save us. How do you plan on saving the universe when you can’t save yourself? Last week proved that actions speak louder than words. He will hold his every word against him. And he will never ever let him forget. He inspires them them now. Jericho tells him to shut the hell up. He agrees with every word he’s saying. Says that since it’s just him he’ll come up there and kick his ass. Umm, that’s not a smart thing to say. Of course, the Wyatts instantly appear. Jericho is at a standstill as it goes to commercial.
Funkadactyls vs. Paige and AJ Lee: Paige took the mic away from Justin Roberts and introduced AJ Lee herself. Cameron looked disinterested in the match, and instead opted to put on lip gloss while Naomi tried to make a tag. Cameron tags herself in and immediately gets pinned with a Paige turner. AJ and Paige are coming off like they’re friends. For now. Sure is a lot of backstabbing and fighting going on in this division lately.
Cameron and Naomi argue after the match. They end up in a hair pulling contest and has to be separated by the referee. Cole tried to put over how this has been building up for weeks, but the other two were more amused than anything. I hate this commentary team. Not that Naomi and Cameron is a riveting feud, but if the television product itself is telling me this shouldn’t matter, why should I think so?
Paul Heyman is in the ring and does his shtick. Cesaro takes the mic and runs down Quebec.
Cesaro vs. Kofi Kingston: Goody. I seem to be abhorrently mean to Kofi. It’s not him at all. He’s good. But he’s been on the main roster for years and is always in the same spot and in terms of tv years he’s old and stale. Unless they finally do something with him, there’s not much interest there. Cesaro gets rolled up again and Kofi wins. Again. Why. Cesaro looks to destroy him, AGAIN, when Big E comes in and stops him. Riveting stuff. Cesaro’s push sure has plummeted following Money in the Bank.
Seth meets up with John Cena. Says relax, just wants to have a civilized conversation. He’s proved that he’s the best, and says if he doesn’t cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase, Orton will get the job done or Kane. Cena says that Seth is damn good, but he isn’t the same guy trying to claw to the top anymore. Now he’s in a ring with a champion tonight and John guarantees its the fight of his life. Seth says see you out there and makes his way out.
Bo Dallas vs. TORITO: Yes. Bo says he takes on all challengers because he bo-lieves. Torito sidekicks Bo in the bo-alls. It almost rhymes, okay. Outside the ring, Bo throws Diego into the steps then gives Torito the bo-dog for the win. As he’s doing his victory lap he bumps into Torito as he falls to the floor again. The gif of this floating around Twitter is amazing.
One last push for the Network. MY WORD PEOPLE, BUY IT PLEASE! They showed a sneak peak of the sneak peak of the Monday Night War doc series that follows Raw tonight.
Seth Rollins vs. John Cena: They keep pushing John Cena is the greatest champion of all time. Well, after 15 title runs, maybe it’s true. Just don’t force it down everyone’s throats, ok (they’re totally going to hammer this home every week for eternity now). There’s a guy who had a giant 2 sign in the crowd all night. They had a fun match, but never got going into second gear as suddenly DEMON KANE arrives. He ruins everything fun. This match actually never had an ending, so there you go.
Cena is distracted. Orton jumps him from behind. Reigns comes out and wipes out the heels and sends them reeling. Seth tries to cash in the title contract again, but Ambrose jumps him and they end up brawling backstage. Orton rolls into the ring, but Cena grabs him and lays him out with the AA. Kane grabs him, but Reigns hits the spear. The show ends with Cena and Reigns raising each other’s hands.
It was alright. The Ambrose/Orton match was a highlight. The Usos/Wyatts had great heat as well. Really nothing more than a show building towards Battleground. But hey, that’s a good thing. Most weeks they don’t build towards anything. They definitely have ideas set in stone for the rest of the summer, so we’ll see how things build up from here.
3, if you want to include Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto del Rio. I sure am.
PLUG: Yes, I would like to plug my blog if that’s ok. I put it at the bottom of this report for a reason. BUT, it is wrestling related. This week I have a review of the Great American Bash 88 (which is already up on the site) as later this week there will be reviews of a few Clash shows from 92-93 as well as the 1989 Bash. I had fun writing them, so you’ll probably have fun reading them! Unless you don’t like my writing. But you do, because you’re reading this. Or you just want Raw results. Which is fine, because my feelings are totally not hurt. But I should know better for not plugging stuff. Ok, I’ll shut up. See you next week!