Welcome to what is very likely the least read regular column we do around here, the Superstars review!

Tom Phillips & Byron Saxon are your generic announcers.

1. Sin Cara vs Damian Sandow – Sin Cara is very colorful this week. Sandow is in his usual black tights & white boots. No more special lighting for Sin Cara. Has this been the case? I hadn’t noticed. Sin Cara is way too quick for this man early on, and Sandow rolls out of the ring and kicks the ring steps out of frustration. Every time Sandow looks to gain the edge, Sin Cara has him thwarted at every turn with arm drags from every conceivable angle. He even arm drags him right over the top rope, followed up by a flying cross body off the top to the outside. This, of course, means a commercial break, since the competitors are out on the floor. When we return, Sin Cara is still arm draggin’ his man to death, until missing a springboard dive. Sandow takes over from there with his methodical offense, which includes a sitting bearhug variation. Side Russian leg sweep, followed by the elbow of disdain for two. Sandow screams at the ref for no reason and moves into an abdominal stretch. Hip toss escape, Muta handsrping elbow by Sin Cara. He hits a cross body & flying head scissors, and then uses a cool one arm power bomb for two. This woke up the dead crowd. Sandow got the knees up on a top rope senton, then hit the You’re Welcome for the win. Decent match. **1/4

Commercial break, featuring an Extreme Rules spot and a Bo Dallas vignette.

RAW Rewind #1 (I am typing this in real time, but this is Superstars, so we all know there will be multiple RAW Rewinds) is the John Cena/Bray Wyatt segment. I said my peace about this feud last week. Tom Phillips explains that this was one of the creepiest things he’s ever seen. He must not get out much.

Commercial.

RAW Rewind #2 (see, I told you) is the Wrestlecrap Hugh Jackman/Dolph Ziggler/Damian Sandow mess.

Next up is the RAW Rebound. RAW Rebound? I’ve been calling it the RAW Rewind for two weeks. Whatever. The RAW Rebound is Kane attempting to pull Brie Bella to hell. I hated this segment too. The whole thing came off so dated. RAW was really bad this week, which is becoming an unfortunate trend since WrestleMania.

2. Natalya vs Tamina Snuka – Tamina hails from “the Pacific Islands”. All of them, I guess. Is there some sort of weird Vince rule, like he has for towns that he doesn’t deem big enough to announce on TV, against Fiji? Tamina wrestled half the match with her vest on. This match is straight up horrible when Tamina is on offense. Natalya worked hard, but Tamina was pretty bad here. Tamina won it out of nowhere with a superkick. *

Next they show The Shield destroying everybody from Smackdown last week, leading to the RAW match between Roman Reigns & Randy Orton. You probably know what happened there, but in case you missed it, check out Bryan Rose’s RAW review HERE.

Rather uneventful Superstars this week, which essentially served as an Extreme Rules barker channel style commercial. Hopefully next week with the next PPV…er, “Special Event” a few weeks away, they’ll give us something to sink our teeth into.