Opening Segment (Randy Orton, Stephanie McMahon, Triple H)

  • ICYMI: Christian and Antonio Cesaro qualified for the chamber match this past week on Smackdown.
  • “CM Punk” chants are starting right away. CM PUNK CHANT COUNT: 1
  • Has Orton really beaten Antonio Cesaro multiple times?
  • Batista is jacked up and muscular? I think he is thinking of some other Batista.
  • CM PUNK CHANT COUNT: 2
  • I feel that WWE is pandering to the live crowd early by giving them the Orton/Bryan match.

The Shield vs. Rey Mysterio, Big E. Langston and Kofi Kingston

  • The Shield vs. The Wyatt family is announced for Elimination Chamber.
  • JBL brings up a decent point, it will be strange to see either team lose.
  • Reigns needs to break away and get some sort of singles push.
  • Despite the talent in the ring, this match is pretty boring. This is one of the reasons that I do not like random guys being in 6-man tag matches.
  • Wait a minute, the Frito’s go on the sub? I guess that Subway thinks that they can sell anything.
  • Well, we missed a sweet dropkick by Reigns during the commercial.
  • Yes, JBL did indeed just call Rey Mysterio a cockroach.
  • Langston moves great for a guy his size and the overhead belly to belly on Reigns was great.
  • SUPERMAN PUNCH!
  • Uh Oh! Reigns isn’t very happy with Ambrose.
  • Bray Wyatt cuts some great promos I have to say.

Fun Fact: Daniel Bryan is a Seattle native which was the reasoning behind the tweet.

The exchange between Lawler and Barrett was pretty stupid. WWE Showing us how to download an app is both thoughtful and insulting. Who is trying to download the app that doesn’t know how to use a cell phone?

Christian vs. Jack Swagger

  • Welcome back to RAW Christian! His new shirt isn’t very appealing to the eyes.
  • I guess this match was so good last week that we just had to have it again this week.
  • How is WWE NOT going to lose money with all of the PPV’s being included in the WWE Network?
  • Apparently Christian currently lives in Tampa? How does Cole know this?
  • Christian’s in-ring work is very underrated.
  • Jack Swagger is a former WWE World Champion, think about that.
  • Nice back and forth at the end of the match before Christian gets the pin. Cesaro shaking his head at ring-side was a nice touch.

Rhodes Brothers vs. New Age Outlaws (Cage Match for Tag Titles)

  • Apparently you cannot win this match by escaping the cage, okay.
  • Rumor has it that Omaha (city hosting RAW tonight) has asked Peyton Manning to no longer call out the name of their city.
  • Has anyone out there actually bought one of those Goldust t-shirts?
  • Betty White on RAW next week? Could be interesting.
  • There is not a lot of space between the apron and the cage.
  • Someone should explain to Road Dogg that you cannot escape the cage, he appears to have forgotten.
  • CM PUNK CHANT COUNT: 3
  • This match is a bit of a snooze fest.
  • CM PUNK CHANT COUNT: 4 (Fans are changing it up, now chanting “We want Punk.”)
  • I noticed that they are ignoring the fact that CM Punk is currently trending on Twitter.
  • The Conspiracy theories from Cole have become stale.
  • Huge amount of booing after the near fall from the disaster kick on Gunn.
  • Cody with a MOONSAULT OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE! Too bad it cost him the match. The moonsault was a sight of beauty though.

Titus O’Neil vs. Zack Ryder (The Miz complaining at ring-side)

  • It’s great to see Ryder on television, even if he is jobbing for O’Neil.
  • It’s a shame they broke up the Primetime Players before they won gold.
  • I’m not quite sure what The Miz was doing there. His five second complaint about not having a match was more confusing than anything else.
  • CM PUNK CHANT COUNT: 5
  • I don’t know how I feel about Ryder’s pants.
  • O’Neil does indeed have some potential as a singles wrestler. However, if he is going to get anywhere he needs some sort of gimmick or something.

Fandango vs. Santino Marella (Dance Off)

  • “Fan DINGO” and “Summer Dae” haha
  • I like Fandango but this is a waste of time.
  • Hmmm, I thought Summer Rae could dance? Oh gosh, look at Emma’s dance.
  • The Emmaloution wins the dance off and successfully wastes a segment.

Sheamus vs. Curtis Axel (w/ Ryback)

  • Cue the Goldberg chants for Ryback being out here.
  • Cole still referencing the six anchors in the shoulder of Sheamus, it just sounds bad-ass.
  • CM PUNK CHANT COUNT: 6 (I don’t know how we didn’t get one during the dance-off)
  • How much do you think the clubs to the chest by Sheamus hurt?
  • Axel is a decent wrestler, he needs a real storyline though.
  • Ryback has fired up the fans and prompted a “Ryback Sucks” chant.
  • CM PUNK CHANT COUNT: 7
  • Nice win for Sheamus in a fairly pedestrian match up.

Monday Night RAW is being televised live in Australia for the first time ever. Due to the time difference it’s Tuesday afternoon in Australia.

The new Shawn Michaels DVD looks pretty good.

Segment Two (Batista)

  • I don’t know who told Batista that it was okay to wear jeans and a jean jacket. It’s not okay.
  • I am kind of okay with Del Rio interrupting this, I mean it’s better than just Batista talking.
  • CM PUNK CHANT COUNT: 8
  • This non Del Rio/Batista thing is a much cheaper version of the original Rock/Cena feud.
  • Batista to face Del Rio next week on RAW?

Dolph Ziggler, R-Truth and Xavier Woods vs. The Wyatt Family

  • Another 6-man tag match with a thrown together team, Dolph deserves so much better.
  • Mark Henry RETURNS next week.
  • Dolph trying to dance with Truth and Woods, haha.
  • Ziggler getting a lot of love from the live audience. He deserves every bit of it!
  • Bray’s upside down thing is creepy as heck.
  • RAW continues it’s trends of predictable matches tonight.
  • “Haunted rocking chairs” -Dean Ambrose

Naomi vs. Aksana

  • “She looks like a sexy baked potato” -AJ Lee
  • AJ is pretty funny on commentary.
  • AJ has been Divas Champion for 232 days and counting.
  • AJ asking Cole how to download the app again? HAHA
  • The highlight of this match so far has been AJ talking on commentary.
  • Aksana with a botched pin attempt after a knee to the face.
  • Looks like Naomi might be getting a title shot in the future.

62 days until WrestleMania

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

  • The YES! movement is in full swing on RAW tonight!
  • Bryan has a new goat face shirt it would appear.
  • Randy Orton vs. Christian announced for Smackdown this week.
  • Orton telling Bryan that the fans aren’t going to chant for him the whole match, I think he underestimates their love for Bryan.
  • CM PUNK CHANT COUNT: 9
  • Records in Elimination Chamber Matches; Orton 0-5, Bryan 1-2, Cena 3-1. Speaking of Cena, where the heck is he?
  • CM PUNK CHANT COUNT: 10
  • Cole hard selling the possibility of Orton tapping out to that half crab, really?!
  • It’s a shame we had to take a commercial during THIS match.
  • Bryan controls the fans by what he does in the ring during a match, The Rock could do it during a promo by raising an eyebrow. Which is more impressive.
  • Bryan dominated early and Orton dominating now, should set up a good finish.
  • Orton delivers one hell of a dropkick. It’s more of an art than some fans realize.
  • Corporate Kane is a buzz-kill
  • DANIEL BRYAN WINS!! I have to admit that I did not think they were going to give it to him.

Final Thoughts

Tonight’s RAW was underwhelming to say the least. With eight matches tonight, the show was heavy with in-ring action as opposed to filler segments. That being said, we still had to sit through a ridiculous dance-off involving Summer Rae and Emma. CM Punk chants were in and out all night, but they didn’t dominate the show like some expected them too.

The highlights of the night were the Cody Rhodes top-of-the-cage moonsault and of course the main event with Orton and Bryan. I am curious to see what comes of Titus O’Neil and his singles push. The lack of Lesnar, Cena and Punk wasn’t really felt tonight, aside of course for the Punk chants.

Bryan picking up the win in the main event was great and a bit surprising. Do you think the crowd would have blown the roof off of the building if Punk made the save at the end?

Come back for some more rants and ramblings next week!

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